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About This Quiz
Have you ever invested in a timeshare? Forgotten to bring your passport to the airport? Neglected to dress up for a job interview? Dared to guess someone else's age? If so, you might be just another human, but there's also another possibility: you're dumb. Don't be so shocked by this idea! From time to time, we all make foolish mistakes. And, as a consequence, we all wonder whether we're dumb. Are you brave enough to actually seek out the truth? In this quiz, we're getting deep, asking serious questions about the dumb things you do in order to figure out whether you're extremely dumb, a little bit dumb, not that dumb or a total Homer Simpson.
So, be honest: do you send your boss emails at 3AM? Lock your keys in the car? Say "I seen" instead of "I saw"? Whatever your level of dumbness, this quiz will determine it, using a combination of keen psychological questioning and our finely calibrated stupidity calculators. Even if your IQ tests in the high hundreds, you might be surprised by your results, since intelligence tests don't generally measure common sense. Are you ready to find out just how big a dummy you are? Take this quiz, fool!
Do you like Smash Mouth?
"Walkin' on the Sun" is okay.
They might not seem cool now, but in the '90s, they ruled.
"Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me / I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed."
Absolutely not.
When trying to end a phone call, have you ever gotten caught in a "thank you"/"you too" loop?
Yes, once or twice.
Look, I was just trying to be polite!
Once I was in a loop like that for 45 minutes.
No, I'm usually able to end phone calls in a cool, normal way.
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Be honest: do you know what paprika is?
It's the same as hot pepper, right?
Um. It's basically ... red dust?
It's a type of curry.
It's a mix of powdered bell and cayenne peppers. Sometimes it's smoked.
When's the last time you said something flabbergastingly rude?
Last week I told my sister that I hated her shoes.
Yesterday I asked my boss why they looked so tired.
My sweetie wasn't wearing dressed up this morning and I asked her if they were sick.
In middle school, I told my history teacher that it freaked me out to see her at the grocery store.
Have you ever used quotation marks for emphasis?
Once I wrote that my restaurant's "special" was "spaghetti and meatballs."
Dude. "Yes."
Quotation marks "are" supposed to be used for emphasis.
Nope, that's one of my grammatical pet peeves.
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What do you do when a button falls off your sweater?
Save the button and then forget to sew it on for a few months.
Ask my mom to sew the button on for me.
Throw away the sweater and buy a new one.
Sew the button back on immediately.
In your opinion, is "Dumb and Dumber" a good movie?
It hasn't aged well.
It's really funny.
It's my favorite movie.
It's not very good!
Have you ever tried to change someone's mind by arguing with them on their Facebook wall?
It's not that I'm trying to change their mind; I just think it's important to stand up for what's right.
Yes. It's never worked yet, but I'm hopeful.
I like to infuse my day with anxiety by arguing with as many people online as possible.
I argue with people in person, NEVER online.
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Do you still tie your shoes using the "bunny ears" method?
Yes, but please don't tell anyone.
Hey, if it works, it works.
It's the only way I know how.
No, that's for babies.
How often do you wash your sheets?
When they smell
When I spill something on them
Basically never
Once a week
It's sad, but scams happen. Has someone ever tricked you into donating to a fake charity?
Yes, I got taken in by a fake GoFundMe.
Door-to-door salespeople have tricked me ... more than once.
Fake charities? I thought all charities were good!
No. In fact, I run a watchdog agency that busts scammers like these. Because, again, I'm perfect.
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How often do you fall down in front of large groups of people?
Once a year, I'll slip in the snow.
I'm a bit of a klutz so ... once every few months.
Falling down 4 lyfe!
I've never done that.
In school, did a teacher ever make you wear a dunce cap?
Dunce caps? Do you mean fedoras?
I believe dunce caps are just something you see in cartoons.
My 3rd grade teacher asked my parents for permission to make me wear one, but they said no.
Dunce caps haven't been in use since the Victorian era. How old do you think I am?
Do you refrigerate tomatoes?
Yes. Why, should I not?
Yes. I also refrigerate bananas.
Yes. I also refrigerate olive oil, all fruit, onions and sugar.
No. That would destroy the flavor.
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Staring into space: boring or kind of relaxing?
Boring
Kind of relaxing
Sheer heaven
An excellent way to meditate
Is "Neveah" a cute name?
Yeah, it's fine.
OMG so cute!
It's adorable, but what's even better is naming your daughter "Annyston."
It's tacky AF.
If you're in a hurry to get somewhere, do you speed even though it will only buy you a few minutes?
Look, I like to pretend I'm in "The Fast and the Furious" sometimes.
YES, IT HELPS ME FEEL LESS STRESSED.
It's fine to risk your life to save three minutes.
No. Speeding is dangerous, especially to pedestrians.
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Have you ever ignored your email inbox so hard that you missed something really important?
Several times. What can I say, it's hard to keep up with email.
Yes. But look, aren't people with clean inboxes psychopaths?
Not only do I ignore my email, I also enjoy ignoring my snail mail (including bills!)
I answer all of my email in a timely fashion, politely and professionally.
Just between us, do you lie to your therapist?
A little bit. For instance, I whitewash my dating history.
Every once in a while, although I know lying about an issue is a sign that I need to work on it.
Yeah. I mean, I don't want them to judge me!
Lie to my therapist? Aren't I paying them to help me?
Ladies: have you ever worn heels on a hiking date?
Yes, once. I wanted to look cute and I didn't think it through.
Yes, consistently. It's better to look good than to feel good.
Yes. I actually hike in heels on purpose because it's good for my quad muscles.
No. Are you nuts?
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Do you offer people unsolicited advice?
Yes, if it's about a topic I'm an expert in.
Yes, if I'm close to them.
Well, how else is everyone supposed to find out how to do things correctly?
My boundaries are pristine so I never bother people with my advice ... unless asked.
Look at your wardrobe. Are you guilty of buying the exact same pants, shirts or skirts over and over again?
OK, fine, I have kind of a look.
I need three identical black T-shirts in my life.
Ack, I've never noticed that before!
I experiment with my fashion and rarely repeat myself.
How often do you replace your sponges?
I toss them whenever they smell.
Once every six months.
You have to replace sponges?
I don't replace them often. Instead, I microwave them so that they're sanitized.
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Do you turn down your car radio when you're looking for a new address?
Yeah, don't you?
Sure. It helps me concentrate.
Noise makes me blinder, I guess.
Sight and hearing are not correlated!
"Fuller House": quality TV show or unnecessary reboot?
Unnecessary reboot
Quality TV show
Emmy-worthy
Burning trash fire
Some vendors use hidden fees to really ramp up the costs of their services. Have you ever bought something that ended up costing much more than you thought?
Yeah. Those Airbnb fees can definitely add up.
Three words: eBay shipping costs.
The gym has tricked me, Comcast tricked me, airlines trick me ...
I'm a perfect angel who always reads terms and conditions carefully.
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Are you afraid to use self-checkout at the grocery store because you're not sure how it works?
You know me all too well.
It seems very complicated.
I'm scared! It's a robot!
I only use self-checkout when I'm buying just one or two items. Otherwise it takes too long.
Do you know who your members of Congress are?
I know the name of ONE of my senators ... good enough?
No. Someone told me I could find out via whoismyrepresentative.com but I haven't even checked.
People represent me? In Congress? What?
Of course!
How many times a day do you check your social media accounts?
3-5 times. I need to know what's going on!
10-15 times a day. Yeah, I know it's too much.
I'm basically not ever not checking my social media accounts.
I only look at my accounts between noon and 1 unless I get a message notification.
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