Are You Guacamole or Hummus?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Are You Guacamole or Hummus?
Image: Larissa Veronesi / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Both guacamole and hummus are wonderful foods that almost anyone can enjoy. They're teeming with protein, minerals, vitamins, and good fats. They go with a huge variety of other dishes, from sandwiches to pita slices to chips to burritos and beyond. Best of all, when they're made well, they are absolutely delicious!

Still, they're not exactly the same. Hummus is made from chickpeas and hails from the Middle East, where it has been a staple of pretty much every meal throughout the day since time immemorial. It's a very sensible food that isn't flashy, and keeps reasonably well in the fridge. Pretty much everyone likes it and nobody objects to it. Meanwhile, guacamole is a dish native to Central and South America, where the pear-shaped green delight known as the avocado has been farmed for millennia. Guac is fickle, as it doesn't last as long and can turn nasty quickly, plus it can be harder to get right, thus making some people a little suspicious of it. It's also more expensive because avocados tend to grow in hot countries but still need a lot of water.

However, though they hail from different backgrounds, both are often beloved by the same people, and appear at the same sorts of events. Are you more like a trusty hummus, or a glamorous guac?

How easily irritated are you?
Not at all!
Like an open sore
I have my moments!
I have the patience of a saint.
At a party, are you usually the star guest?
No, I'm a good solid middle-of-the-road guest.
Heck yeah!
Depends on the event
No. Nobody notices me.
How tough do you think you are?
Not very
Not at all
I am tough in limited ways.
I'm hard as nails.

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Be honest: does everyone generally like you?
Yeah, I'm so inoffensive they can't help it.
No. They should though!
Most people do!
I think so.
How much do you get robbed of credit for your work?
Fairly often
I never let this happen.
Not too much
Constantly, alas!
How spicy are you?
Not very
I spice it up from time to time.
Once in a blue moon, I get spicy!
Not at all

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Do you travel well?
As long as I'm comfortable, then yes.
No
Only over short distances
Yes, very well
Do you often feel misunderstood?
Not really
Yes, constantly
Sometimes
Very rarely
What's the one thing you wish people knew about you?
I'm a really good friend.
I'm a great role model.
I have layers.
I'm not as boring as they assume.

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Which carb is the best carb?
Anything bready
Anything chipped
Anything crunchy
All carbs are good!
At what sort of event would you feel totally out of place?
A wedding
A Sunday roast
A sushi tasting
I fit in everywhere!
Can you handle a cold climate?
I would not like that!
Only if I have somewhere warm to go whenever I need to!
I'd prefer not to, but I could.
Sure

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What's your position on people who double-dip their chip?
They are the worst.
I understand, but I still hate them.
I try to forgive them, but I do not forgive the sin.
I do not judge them, for I am sometimes one of them.
You're throwing a party. What drink are you serving?
Beer
Sangria
Wine
Spirits
Which charming nook of the world is your dream spot for a relaxing vacation?
Red Sea
Cancun
Gibraltar
Iceland

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What TV show do you never miss?
The Simpsons
One Day At A Time
Family Feud
The Walking Dead
Could you survive a night in your own freezer?
I could, but I would be changed forever.
Definitely not
Probably not
Yes, and I would come out stronger than ever!
Are you easily stirred up?
Sure!
No, I get mushy first.
Depends on how vigorously I was stirred.
No, nothing gets to me.

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If you bit down on something, which would be the worst thing that could happen?
It could be too crunchy.
It could be too squishy.
It could be too runny.
It could move.
Would you rather be trapped in a giant Tupperware, or a giant china bowl?
China bowl
Tupperware
Either is fine!
Both are equally terrifying to me.
What post-meal issue is your nemesis?
The runs
Tummy ache
Realizing I overate by a factor of four!
Gas

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What food would you absolutely never eat, even to be polite to someone you love?
Steak
Peanut
Apricot
Goat cheese
With what controversial flavor do you like to combine chocolate?
Peanut
Mint
Orange
Bacon
Friends are coming over. Besides dip, what snack is sure to be on the menu?
Chips
Nuts
Baby carrots
Pork rinds

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Be honest: are you good for the people in your life?
Yes, very good!
Better than they know
Generally yes
In reasonable quantities, yes
Have you ever considered going on strike to prove to people how much they need you?
No, they'd adapt too quickly.
Probably not. They'd pretend they didn't need me.
I've considered it, but I never will.
Yes. They'd be screwed!
What gives you the greatest joy?
Going for a lovely walk
Dancing
Being active, however it happens!
The satisfaction of a job well done

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What is the ultimate garnish?
Parsley
Lemon
Pine nuts
Onion
You're going to a traffic light party. What color do you wear?
Amber
Green
It depends on how I feel.
Red
Do you always seem to end up taking care of everyone?
Sometimes!
Quite the opposite
Not too much
All the time!

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You Got: