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You are getting your partner an apple. Do you cut it up?
Yes, just the shape they like.
Probably.
Yes, it shows I'm trying.
I don't know!
Could you reliably order something for them in a restaurant?
I could probably order for them correctly 85% of the time.
I could probably order for them correctly 50% of the time.
I got it right once.
I'm not sure.
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They had a bad day. How do you handle it?
I read the signs that they want to talk, versus the signs that they want to be left alone, and respond accordingly.
I ask if they need anything.
I hug them.
I don't: that's couple stuff.
Can you do an impression of your partner saying the thing that really annoys you?
Yes, but I don't.
Yes, and it's hilarious.
Yes, but it's not accurate.
Not yet.
Do you know their freakiest fantasy?
Yes, we've done it.
Yes, but we haven't done it.
No, but I think I will.
Not yet!
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Do you know their most unobtainable ambition?
Yes, it's not so unobtainable anymore.
Yes, I wish they would see that it is possible.
I'm not sure.
No.
Have you met their family?
Yes, they're the worst.
Yes, they're great!
We're meeting soon, I'm excited!
Nope.
Have you met their friends?
Yes, some of them are my friends.
Yes, they're okay.
I've met one or two of their friends.
I met one but I don't remember their name.
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Do you know the name of their childhood dog?
Of course, we named our dog after it.
Sure.
No.
They had a dog?
Would you let them drive while you were asleep?
Why wouldn't I?
I guess.
I might be a little nervous.
It hasn't been an option yet.
If you accidentally got blackout drunk around them, do you know you'll be fine?
Of course.
I think so.
I hope so.
I don't know, so I wouldn't dare find out.
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Last time you were sick, were they there?
They have held my hair while I was puking.
They have been outside the bathroom while I puked.
I have told them about a time they puked.
I puked on them.
When was the last time they got you a completely tone-deaf gift?
Two years ago.
Three months ago.
Last week.
They haven't given me any gifts.
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How many nicknames do you have for each other?
More than we can count, some of which have fallen out of use.
Three.
Two.
Only one generic one like "honey" or "darling."
Can you sit together in total silence and just feel at peace?
It's the best place in the world.
We tried it and we liked it.
We haven't yet.
What an interesting idea!
Do you encourage them to spend time with other people?
Of course, that's just healthy.
Yeah, I hate it though.
I guess that is necessary for their job and social life.
No, I want to see them all the time!
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How many private jokes do you have?
So many that we basically speak our own language.
Half a dozen.
A couple.
One and it's awesome.
Do people find the two of you positively sickening?
Yes, but we don't care.
Yes, but we try to keep a lid on it.
Yes and we love it!
I have no idea, I can't see other people when I am with my boo.
Can you picture yourselves together when you are old and grey?
Yes, in the mirror.
Yes, in the future.
Maybe.
Possibly.
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What rough time have you seen each other through, professionally?
One of us supported the other through a career change.
We've changed plans for each other more than once.
I've listened to them rant about their boss.
I was kept on hold so they could speak to their colleague.
What is a way you trust them?
I trust them to be their best self for me and encourage me to be mine.
I trust them to not steamroll my boundaries.
I trust them to be respectful around me.
I trust them to always show me a good time.
Do you get a jitter in your stomach when you hear their ring tone?
Yes, God help me, I do.
So much.
I basically do a jig.
No, I don't fall that easy.
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Do you need to be apart from them sometimes?
Yes, quite a lot.
Yes, once a week or so.
No, and I never will!
I want to be with them all the time but I can't and I hate it!
How annoying are they?
They can get a little annoying.
They annoy me a lot.
They don't annoy me much.
They don't annoy me at all.
Have you ever had a big fight?
Yes, but not for ages.
Yes, just recently.
No, but I can guess what it'll be about when it happens.
I bet we will never fight as we are totally simpatico.
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Are your fights generally very respectful and productive?
Generally, yes.
We had one like that and it was great.
No, that sounds cool.
We don't fight.
Do you share the same values on religion?
Yes, we have the same attitude in most ways.
No, but we are very respectful of each other's views.
I think so.
I've no idea.
Do you feel the same way about having children together?
Yes, we have two children.
Yes, we want two children.
I know we both want kids.
That's too far off to think about.
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