Can We Guess If Your Dog Runs Your Life?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Can We Guess If Your Dog Runs Your Life?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

As the saying goes, dogs have owners, and cats have staff. However, there are some dogs out there who have managed to wrap their owners around their little finger (or claw, as the case may be). Perhaps their human feels guilty whenever they assert a boundary, or they think that loving discipline involves cruelty. The good news is that this is not the case; there is never any need to hit a dog to give it firm rules. The even better news is that dogs actually love rules! They are pack animals who respond to a set of expectations, and if those expectations are fair, consistent and clear, that makes for one safe and relaxed hound.

The corresponding difficulty is that if dogs don't have rules, rather like certain people, they can become neurotic and anxious. This is when behaviors can kick in such as chewing the furniture, relieving themselves indoors, and barking at people they've been told are welcome and friendly. It's not an ideal situation for a dog to be constantly on their guard and never knowing which way is up. 

Fortunately, you can, in fact, teach a dog new tricks, and more importantly, you can teach an owner new tricks. If your dog is emotionally fraught, establishing consistent rules will help. Sometimes, investing in some classes with a trainer is the best way to help both of you learn how to improve your relationship to one that gives you peace of mind (and saves on shoe leather), and helps your dog to be the happiest, healthiest, most chilled out pooch they can be! 

Is there anything your dog can make you do 100% of the time?
Yes, everything
They can get walkies whenever they want.
They can get a cuddle whenever they want.
Nope
Is there anything you can make your dog do 100% of the time?
Nope
Sit
If I have snacks, then anything. If not, then a few things.
Yes. If I say to stay, they stay.
What time is walkies?
Whenever they want
Whenever I get home
Whenever I scheduled it
Whenever I want - though always roughly the same time.

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How many outfits does your dog have?
More than me
Over 10
Five
None
During walkies, you see a $20 on the street. As you head for it, your dog smells something and stops. What are the chances you get that $20?
I'm not getting it.
Slim
Pretty good
My dog didn't stop, so I already got the $20, and now we're going to back to check out the interesting smell.
Does your sofa have a dog-shaped imprint anywhere in it?
All my furniture does.
Yes, but just the one sofa.
Only the dog's special chair has that.
No, my dog does not go on the furniture.

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If you went to your closet and grabbed a random garment, what are the odds that it's hair-free?
Zero
If it's made of leather, then good.
It's probably mostly hair-free.
If it's work clothing, it's fine. Home clothing has hair on it.
Do you even bother to wear dry-clean-only clothing at home?
I don't even own any.
Not any more
If I have guests, then yes.
If I want to, sure
Whose lap is it anyway?
It is their lap.
It is a shared lap.
It is my lap, but they visit.
It is my lap and I can invite them.

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Where does your dog sleep?
On my bed
In my room, on their own bed
In my study
In their room
You're eating dinner. What is your dog doing?
Sharing it
Begging
Inching closer
Waiting nicely
When a visitor comes to the house, how does your dog react?
They bark and bark and bark and bark.
They bark until the person comes in.
They bark until I say to stop.
They bark until they see I am aware that a person is here.

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Who grooms your dog?
I do.
I pay someone to do it.
I bathe them, that's about it.
They do, but I dry them after walkies.
If the weather is absolutely horrible outside, does that affect the amount of exercise your dog gets?
Yes, if they don't want to go out, we're not going.
Only if it is really bad
It only affects things a little.
Nope. Exercise is good for them.
If you go cycling, will your dog run nicely to heel?
Lord, no
I doubt it.
Yes, unless there is something distracting, like a bird.
Yes, like clockwork

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When your dog is frightened, where does it go first?
Round and round in circles
Under furniture
To their bed
Directly to me
Separation anxiety in dogs can be a sign of needing tighter boundaries. Does your dog suffer from this?
Yes. It's very bad!
Only once in a while
Only for a day or two, if I've gone away for a few days.
Not at all
How much has your dog cost you in destroyed items this year?
Over $1,000
$500
About $100
Nothing other than their toys, which they are allowed to destroy.

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Have you ever had to have something retrieved from inside your dog?
Yes. It was ... mucky.
Yes, and it cost a lot.
Just the one time
Not yet!
Could you ever bring home another pet?
No. My dog would just eat it or something.
Only if my dog liked it
Yes, but it would take some finessing.
If I want another pet, my dog will just have to deal with it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever found one of your shoes?
Buried in the garden
All over the house
Downstairs
My shoes stay where I put them.

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How many toys does your dog own?
40
20
15
Technically eight, but I keep a trove of backup toys and operate a one-in, one-out system!
When your dog has been naughty, are you able to stay stern when they do that adorable little face that melts your heart?
LOL. Nobody can do that.
Not often!
Only for a few minutes so I have to discipline then exit quickly.
Yes. It is for their own good.
If you tell your dog not to do its business in a particular spot, will business be done in that spot?
They do it where they want!
They will probably not understand what I am saying.
They will listen most of the time.
They do it where I want!

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Is your dog the top dog at the dog park?
LOL, no
No, but they are not a bottom dog either.
Yes
My dog doesn't care about such things.
You accidentally tread on your dog's paw. What's going to happen next?
I will be mortified and give them steak.
I will apologize and offer many cuddles.
I will say sorry and reassure my dog.
I will say sorry and console my dog that I didn't mean it. They will apologize to me, which will make me feel a bit weird!
Your dog jumps on you in excitement right before your hot date and ladders your expensive fishnets. How do you react?
I have another pair handy just in case.
I say, "Oh well, you're so cute!" and go out with the ladder.
I say, "What have you done?" and they apologize.
I don't know. This would never happen.

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You wake up in the night and your dog is barking wildly. Do you get out of bed?
Yes. My darling needs me!
Probably. They might want a cuddle.
Nah. They don't tell me what to do.
Yes. My dog wouldn't do that unless there was a fire, burglar or someone (including them) was hurt. They did their job; time for me to do mine!
What is the number one nickname you call your dog?
Bossman
Doggleface
Little guy/gal
Curse words, in a really cutesy voice. It's hilarious.
How does your dog know that you love them?
I give them food and toys, and let them do whatever they want.
I look after them as best I can.
I protect, feed and care for them, and give and receive loads of affection.
I give them safety, structure, protection, a home and all the love I can - and they give the same to me!

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