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About This Quiz
Rene Descartes is famous for the quote "I think therefore I am." It's a simple statement that cuts to the core of being itself. If you know you are you, if you know you are real because you know you have your own thoughts, then that is the one thing that can truly be said to be real in all the universe. No matter what else may be going on - a dream, a drug-fueled state, a simulation, none of it matters. If you think then you are. You are a person. BUT! Descartes never said what you are, just "that" you are. You could be a human, sure. But maybe you're a dog. Philosophy doesn't say that can't be the case, right? How do you tell?
If you're not interested in chasing down some cars or eating a bowl of kibble to prove your canine qualifications, there is an easier way for us to get to the bottom of things and no one even has to go to obedience school to get it done. All you need to do is answer a few questions for us and we'll figure out once and for all if you're a real person or just a dog playing a game with all of us. Take the quiz!
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, right? What'll you have?
Bacon!
Just a coffee is fine.
Sausage and eggs
Cereal with milk
If your best friend needs your help moving this weekend, are you there for them?
You know it!
Unless I have plans
I'll go for as long as I can.
I want to say no.
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Tell us your opinion on having a salad for dinner.
Nooooo!
I could do that, sure.
I mean, maybe. If it's a good salad.
You can eat all the salad you like. I'll get something else.
Do you prefer a bath or a shower?
I don't trust baths.
A quick shower is pretty refreshing.
I can relax in a bath sometimes.
Ugh
Do you only eat the finest foods or are you down for pretty much anything as long as it's edible?
I'll eat whatever.
I like a fancy meal now and then.
Well, I don't want trash but I don't need high end, either.
It depends on my whims.
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How good are you at learning new skills?
Not too shabby, as long as I get shown a few times.
I pick up new stuff pretty quickly.
So-so
I don't have time for things like that.
What's your absolute favorite game to play with a baseball?
Catch
Uh, baseball
Wait, is there another game you can play? Cuz I'll play it if you tell me.
I don't play games with baseballs.
What's your favorite thing to do when you head to the beach for the day?
I love to swim!
Just relax, maybe have a BBQ
Play a game in the sand
I'm not big on beaches.
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We're having some hamburgers. What's the most essential topping?
Bacon!
Lettuce, tomato, and onion
Ketchup
Cheese
Your Uber just dropped you off, and as it drives away you realize you forgot your phone in the back. What now?
Chase it down the street.
Get a friend to call.
Throw something to get the driver's attention.
I'm going to swear.
How tidy is your bedroom right now?
It's a mess.
It's immaculate.
It could use some tidying but overall it's fine.
Someone else cleans it, so ...
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What do you like to do with your best friend more than anything?
We play a lot of games.
Go to movies, have dinner, whatever
We just hang out a lot.
Depends on how I'm feeling that day.
You're in a room with two other people. Someone farts. Maybe it was you, maybe it wasn't. Do you get blamed?
Every single time
Of course not
Hey, it happens.
I'm leaving this room.
Say it's around midnight and you hear a noise upstairs even though no one is supposed to be home. What do you do?
I'm running up the stairs to investigate.
It's probably nothing, right?
I'll call out to see if anyone answers.
Meh, what do I care?
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Do you like your neighbors?
I feel like they're up to something a lot.
Yeah, sure.
I don't dislike them.
I have no idea who my neighbors are.
If you haven't seen a friend in a long time do you get super excited when you finally see them again?
I freak right out.
I'm always happy to see a friend again but I stay cool.
Yeah, I'll get a little giddy.
I don't act foolish or anything, but I'll make sure to greet them.
If you're out for a walk and it starts raining, what do you do?
Play in it
Open my umbrella
Hurry home
Panic
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Do you get along well with new people when you meet them?
If they're nice, sure
Yeah, for the most part
Definitely depends on the people
Not really
Would you say you're a very neat and precise person or a little more messy and chaotic?
I'm hopelessly messy.
I try to keep things organized.
I could use some help in keeping my things together.
I'm very neat.
Do you like thunderstorms?
Hate 'em
Sure, they can be cool.
As long as they're not too loud
I don't really care either way.
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How often would you say you go out for a walk?
Every day
Not as often as I'd like
Pretty regularly
I don't really do walks.
Do you like to go for a car ride sometimes even if you don't have a particular destination in mind?
I love it!
Well, I usually prefer a destination.
Sometimes that can be fun
Not really
Can you clean up after yourself very well, or do you need help sometimes?
I'm not much of a cleaner.
I can handle my own messes.
I clean up after myself. Eventually.
Why would I clean my own mess if I don't have to?
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So, how often would you say you lie to people anyway?
Sometimes, if I have to.
Not often
I only lie if I'm trying to spare someone's feelings, usually.
I don't need to lie.
When Halloween rolls around, do you go all in on a costume or not?
I love Halloween and I always dress up.
I don't always dress up, but I still enjoy the holiday.
I don't get super elaborate, but I like a good costume sometimes.
I don't care much for Halloween.
Have you ever actually been to a masquerade ball?
I have!
I have not.
I'd like to but no.
Not my scene
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How often do people tell you to stay?
More than I'd like
Never
Not often
I dunno, I don't listen very well.
Can you make your own fun if you're home alone?
Usually, but it can get crazy.
There's always something to do.
I can do whatever.
I'd rather be entertained.
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You Got: