Can We Guess What Movie Title Describes Your Sex Life?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Can We Guess What Movie Title Describes Your Sex Life?
Image: New Line Cinema/Bron Creative/Camp Sugar/Little Engine/Broken Road Productions

About This Quiz

There's no right way to have a sex life. Whether you prefer to save yourself until marriage, keep it vanilla or monogamous, or you're all about acquainting yourself with as many people as possible in as many ways as possible, as soon as possible, then as long as there's proper consent and respect all around, it's good news. There are as many different approaches as there are ways to have sex, and goodness knows that's a long list!

Still, most of us tend to follow certain patterns when it comes to our sex lives. Some of us are monogamous and prefer to keep things interesting with a single partner forever. Some of us are dating around but not interested in commitment, though we like to have a few reliable partners we can count on for a good time. Some are walking on the wild side with parties.

Any of these might be as vanilla or as kinky as they want to be; after all, the quantity of encounters doesn't tell us much about the type! What we do know is that whatever you're doing, there's a movie title that describes it with uncanny accuracy - and if you tell us a few NSFW facts, we'll let you know what it is!

How many partners do you have in regular rotation right now?
Just one
None
Several
Many
What's your "number"?
Three or fewer
Zero
More than 20
Five to 20
How kinky are you on a scale of 1-10?
4
I don't know.
7
11

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How often do you like to have sex?
Thrice a week, but daily on vacation!
Never, I guess?
Once a week
Daily
How much more or less sex are you having than you'd like to be having?
Slightly less
Way less
Slightly more than I should be having, honestly!
I have about as much as I'd like.
How long do you consider a "long stretch" without sex?
A month
I don't think that's a useful metric.
More than three months
A week

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Do you always ensure your partner is satisfied before you are?
We take turns!
I have never had a partner.
Depends on my mood.
Of course, that's just good form.
Be honest: are you good in bed?
I'm good with my partner. I don't know if I'm generically good.
Probably not
I'm OK.
I'm awesome. I have receipts.
Do you spend a lot of "alone time" enjoying yourself?
Only if my boo is unavailable
Yes
Yeah, it stops me making stupid decisions.
Yes, but I tell my partners so they can enjoy it vicariously.

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Which of the below is likely to be the best partner from a standpoint of sheer pleasure?
Someone you love
Yourself
Someone you hate
Someone who is up for it
How do you feel about casual sex?
It's not for me, but other people should do what is right for them.
It's morally wrong.
It's probably less destructive than whatever I'm doing.
It's great as long as everyone is respectful and kind!
What's the main reason you might turn down sex?
Upset tummy
Not married
I know I won't feel good afterward.
I already had some that day.

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Your partner suggests something new, and you're not sure about it. What's your position on that?
I will give it a try.
I probably wouldn't do it.
It's not happening.
I'll try anything twice.
Do you know how to negotiate soft and hard boundaries?
Yes, though only specifically with this partner, not with anyone.
No idea!
I know but I can't do it.
Yes, and I do it.
Do you believe that monogamy is natural?
Yes. Temptation is natural too but monogamy is not hard.
Yes, it is natural and right.
Probably not
Lots of things are natural, including monogamy and other options.

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How comfortable are you just asking for consent?
Totally. I just text my boo if they're out and let them know what time I want it, or tell them if they are home.
That is terrifying to me.
I know I should, but I feel silly.
I tailor it to my partner but generally speaking I am very comfortable with this.
Do you like some dirty talk?
A little maybe
No. Ew.
I like it if my partner likes it.
Heck, yeah!
How sympatico are you with your primary partner?
100%
Not at all
Sexually, very. Emotionally and morally, not at all.
I don't have a primary partner. They are all equally prime to me.

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What's the main thing you get out of sex, other than physical pleasure?
Catharsis, vulnerability and intimacy
Satisfaction from satisfying my spouse
Tension release
Friendship
What can a partner do to put you off sex?
Be smelly, but I just make them shower.
Pressure me outside marriage.
Honestly, nothing. The more of a jerk they are, the more I seem to like it.
Be disrespectful or mocking.
Do you have an exhibitionist streak?
Not really
No
Somewhat
Oh, yes

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Do you feel like you can tell your partner anything?
Yes!
I would be too intimidated.
No, they would mock me.
Depends on the partner. Some people would be scared of some of the things I like.
When did you first have sex?
21, with a serious boyfriend
I haven't yet.
Under 18, with a raging jerk.
18-21. I started later than average, but I caught up.
How was your first time?
Really nice
I don't know yet.
Pretty awful
Disappointing

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Do you prefer lights on or lights off?
I like candles or natural light.
Off
I don't mind.
On
Do you have a toy box?
We have a few things.
Yes, it helps me stay pure for my future boo.
Not really
I have a walk-in closet for such things. A box could never hold it all.
How do you feel about makeup sex?
I don't like the dynamic of being mad then making up with sex. It creates drama. I prefer to just make love as we want to.
It sounds weird.
It is by far the hottest way to do it.
I can take or leave it.

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Does your partner know how to satisfy you?
Oh, yes.
I have no partner.
No, but I faked satisfaction once, so now they will be doing it wrong forever.
All my partners get told, and if they don't do it right, I offer some friendly correction.
Have you ever thrown someone pity sex?
I've had sex when my partner was way more in the mood, and I was mostly just being nice, but never just out of pity.
No, that's a stupid reason to be with someone.
I have given and received pity sex.
I have, but not for years, because it's awful.
Do you tend to schedule sex, or do it spontaneously?
It's always scheduled.
I don't understand how you can schedule something like that.
It's always spontaneous.
It's mostly scheduled. What I like takes preparation.

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You Got: