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About This Quiz
Whether you're the assertive oldest child, the adaptable middle child, or the spoiled baby of the pack - or perhaps the only child - we have your position down... or do we?
Do you feel like you're quite precocious?
Yes, indubitably
Yes, certainly
Not really
No, staying little and vulnerable equals more hugs.
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Do you play well with others?
If they deserve it.
I prefer not to.
Of course
Yes, that is how you survive.
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Can you amuse yourself?
Yes, easily
Somewhat
Yes, but I don't have to.
That is what parents are for.
Do you mind being ignored?
Not really
I hate it, it elicits all kinds of feelings.
Yes, but I am used to it.
It has never happened.
Were you a bully?
No, I was outside all that.
Yes, I was.
No, but I didn't stop them.
I was the victim.
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Were you the victim of a bully?
Not twice by the same person, that's for sure.
No, I was the bully's bully.
Yes, sometimes
Yes, constantly
Do you think kids' menus are a dumb idea?
Of course - making a separate meal is silly.
Mostly, yeah
They are fun sometimes.
The best thing about Seamless is ordering the kids' meal and no one knowing there is no kid to eat it.
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If you fell off the swings, what did your parents do?
Pick me up, take me aside, and tend to me.
Wail and rend their garments while dialing 911.
Come over and have a look.
Call my name - if I responded, they went back to chatting with the other parents.
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When did you get a penknife?
Age 8
Age 7
Age 5, but it was a basic one.
Age 3 - it was a hand-me-down.
Did you ever blame your siblings for something you did?
I wish.
Of course, that's what they are for.
Yes, but I never got away with it.
Yes, and I always got away with it.
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Were you ever forced to make a fourth for cards or other games?
I was forced to make 3.
I chose to make 4.
I was often forced.
I was not necessary, thank God.
Did your parents' wealth change growing up?
They always had enough for me.
They got richer as we went.
They were always struggling.
They were always about the same - quite affluent.
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Did your parents have to get a lot of advice about how to educate and raise you?
From literally everyone in their lives, all the time.
Yes, at first
Sometimes
They ignored everything.
Were your parents perpetually exhausted in your early years?
Only before I can remember.
Yes, somewhat.
Yes, until I was about 10.
Yes, until I was 12.
Did you ever think of being the next Hansons/Jacksons/etc?
That would have been sweet.
No, I'm more talented than the others, it'd never work.
Sure!
No, they would never let me play.
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Did you have matching sweaters?
I wore my parents' stuff.
Goodness, no
No, only hand-me-downs
Yes, and I hated it.
Do you like being on your own a lot?
Yes, thank goodness.
Yes, it reminds me of a simpler time.
Only occasionally
It makes me uncomfortable.
How did you learn to take the bus solo?
Monkey see, monkey do
I snuck out to avoid the little ones and taught myself.
Various relatives showed me.
My sibling showed me.
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How fast do you eat?
At the right pace for the food in question
Normal speed, I think.
Quite fast
Lightning fast
Do you hog the remote?
It's my remote, why shouldn't I?
Yes, I should decide what we watch.
If I can get my paws on it.
I have never had that sort of power.
How loud do you talk?
Fairly
Not very, why?
Moderately
Very - if you don't talk loud, you don't get heard.
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