Can We Guess if You're a Navy Veteran?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Can We Guess if You're a Navy Veteran?
Image: WikiCommons

About This Quiz

It's true what the Village People told us: in the Navy, you really can sail the seven seas, set your mind at ease, and join your fellow man (or woman)! The Navy offers a job opportunity for almost anyone - that is, as long as that person is willing to work really hard, play equally hard, travel the world, and secure the borders of America and her allies from now until the end of time. 

Still, subject to those requirements, there are a great many job opportunities to be had within the Navy. There are pilots, chaplains, bakers, commissioned officers, and air traffic control. There are engineers and divers and designers and drone pilots and medics. There are strategic command, submarine commanders, and sailors.

That means it's very hard to tell if a person was in the Navy merely by looking at their job because almost any skill set might have been developed while sailing with your fellow man on those seven seas. However, specific values of the Navy will shine through. Most veterans are insatiably neat. They're great at teamwork. They know how to show up on time, and they never watch the clock. They go above and beyond, and they know the value of loyalty - and that it is a two-way street. Tell us about you, and we'll see if you fit the bill!

Do you fear deep water?
Not unless I'm miles from land or ship.
No, I love some deep water!
Not if I'm on a ship.
Oh yeah. "Jaws" left an impression.
Is the ocean your one true love?
No, it's more like a girlfriend.
It's one of them.
Yes, absolutely.
No, my deep love is the Big Mac.
Do you get seasick?
Sometimes, but I don't get airsick.
No, nor do I get sick at the sight of blood.
Seasick? No, I'm fine.
Only when I'm on a ship.

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Do you look good in white?
I look resplendent in white.
I look better in black.
White is my color of choice.
I prefer khaki.
Can you iron a perfect crease into any fabric?
I can, but I prefer polyester.
Yes, but I don't have much use for dressing up.
Naturally.
I'd leave it to my mom.
What is a catapult?
It's used for launching airplanes.
It's for launching stones.
It's in the floor of the flight deck.
It's an ancient Roman weapon.

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If something has been destroyed, what happened to it?
I strafed it.
I slit its throat in the night.
I launched a missile.
I #PWNED it.
What is an R2D2?
A 30mm canon.
A Sea Whiz.
A Phalanx CIWS.
A robot from Star Wars!
Do you have sea legs?
I'm more comfortable in the air.
Yes, but I don't have a problem with that on land.
Yes, I'm always a little wobbly on land.
I can swim, yes.

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Do you have an uneven facial tan?
As a matter of fact, I do.
I can't tell from under all this camo.
I do! My left side is much darker than my right side.
I have no tan, because I spend too much time in my basement.
Who is your best friend?
My wingman.
My SOG knife.
My shoes.
My bro from high school.
Who is America's best friend?
Israel.
Canada.
The UK.
France.

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Who is America's worst enemy?
Russia.
ISIS.
China.
Syria.
What's a long deployment to you?
1 year.
18 months.
6 months.
1 month.
Are you afraid of confined spaces?
Not really.
I'm afraid of nothing.
I'll do one better: I don't mind confined, darkened spaces!
No thanks!

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What is a Trident?
It's a missile.
It's on my sigil.
It's a submarine.
It's Poseidon's awesome weapon!
What's the old name for the Secretary of Defense?
The Secretary of The Navy.
I don't know, but it's not defense.
Something to do with the army or navy.
Trick question! It's always been The Secretary of Defense!
What kind of a ship has a flight deck?
A Carrier.
Any number of amphibious assault ships, including Wasp Class and America Class ships.
Any ship that has so much as a helipad on board.
All ships have them!

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What is your favorite color of gray?
Gunmetal gray.
Blue gray.
Battleship gray.
Pale gray.
Who other than a Captain can you call Captain?
Any Captain can be called "Captain" but only the Captain of a ship can be called "The Captain".
Anyone in command of a ship, even if they aren't a Captain in rank.
The XO.
Any Captain should be called "Captain"!
When was the last time you saluted?
A few years ago.
This morning, when I raised the flag.
Last week.
When I was a Cub Scout.

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When was the last time you polished your shoes?
A few weeks ago.
Five months ago.
This morning.
I pay a guy for that.
How tall are you?
5'8"
6'3"
5'11"
5'3"
What does SCUBA stand for?
Someone can't understand basic acronyms.
Don't ask me about acronyms, I always fudge them.
Self contained underwater breathing apparatus.
Super Cool Underwater Breathing Equipment.

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Your friend is sick. It's the worst news you've ever heard. What do they have?
Macular degeneration.
ALS.
Norovirus.
Cancer.
Your friend is promoted above you. Can you still be friends?
Of course I can.
Probably.
Not appropriate.
No, to Hell with that guy!
What foreign language do you speak?
Russian.
Urdu.
Spanish.
Klingon.

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What's the best age to retire?
50
40
30
Never!
What's the purpose of the navy?
To project military power anywhere.
To move American military might around.
To project confidence in American hegemony.
To provide world travel for farm boys.
What is the biggest threat to US security?
Cyber attacks.
Terrorist drones.
Nuclear weapons.
Aliens.

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You Got: