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About This Quiz
We all know those people. The ones whose houses require no more than a glance to know that those within hate Christmas. Well, there's a scientific measurement now, and we're going to apply it to you!Advertisement
Will you use fake snow?
Of course! And real!
A little
No, it's tacky.
I don't even know what that is.
How about mistletoe?
Everywhere! Every door!
A sprig or two
No, that's creepy.
Not only will I not include it, I will take it down if I see it.
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Do you put tinsel on the tree?
No, but we put it everywhere else.
A little on the tree, sure.
Only that long trailing kind.
I hate tinsel.
Do you use white lights or colored lights on the tree?
Both
Colored
White
I hate those twinkly little critters.
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How big is the biggest Santa Claus?
Twelve feet
Three feet
A foot
There is no Santa Claus, and I intend to tell all the local children that this year.
Will you notice a bump on your electricity bill?
No, because I have a special solar panel I got just for this occasion.
Yes, it'll hurt.
A little
No, that's why I don't do this crap.
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Will your neighbors be jealous or offended?
Both
Envious
They will not feel much about it.
Offended by my lack of effort.
Will local kids come over specially to look at your display?
Nightly
Initially
They will slow down when they pass.
No, I will throw things at them if they try.
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Do you use holly to decorate the house?
Yes, so much of it, it's great.
Just a little - it's prickly!
A sprig or two
Holly is dangerous.
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Do you put stockings around the fireplace?
Of course, we all have a homemade one.
Of course, we have store-bought ones.
We put them under the tree.
We don't do gifts, that's not the point of the holiday, the point is not making an effort.
Does your fireplace work?
Yes, we cleaned the flue out especially when we moved in.
It's OK.
It smokes a little.
I never tried to use it.
Do you put presents under the tree?
Of course! And in the fireplace and everywhere else too.
Yes, that's where they go.
We sometimes forget.
There are no presents.
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Do you you put extra fake presents so that it looks more lavish?
Outside, yes
No, that'd be mean.
No, that's silly.
I only put fake ones, to trick people.
Will candles be a feature of your decor?
Yes, on the table.
Yes, on the walls.
No, that's dangerous.
No, they might burn my house down and I love my house and hate candles anyway.
Do you hang chocolate on the tree?
Yeah, the more the merrier - and all round the house too.
We put them on the tree.
We have them, but don't put them on the tree.
We do not allow chocolate in our house.
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Do you use candy canes?
Naturally
One or two
We don't actually like them.
We have them for throwing at carolers to get rid of them.
Do you dress up?
Of course, we all have special sweaters that I made myself.
One of us dresses as Santa Claus.
We put on hats.
We don't, and we forbid anyone to wear red, white, or green.
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Do you have anything playing carols automatically?
Yes, and we sing around the neighborhood, too.
We prefer to sing.
We have a few songs playing on a loop.
Music is annoying.
Will there be a Nativity scene?
Yes, it is a family heirloom carved of wood and painted lovingly by four generations - we even saved it when we fled from our native land.
Yes, it is a diorama the kids made.
We try to throw something together.
The Nativity is just a story and only a silly person would believe it is literally true.
How prominently will you feature Jesus?
Very, that's what it is all about after all.
Somewhat - we don't want to leave him out of his own birthday.
A little - we're not really into all that.
I might say a prayer to get people to leave me alone.
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