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Describe Your Personality Traits and We'll Give You A Southern Nickname!

By: Mark Lichtenstein

4 min

Describe Your Personality Traits and We'll Give You A Southern Nickname!

Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Hey, Slim! You ready to take this quiz or what? Drop your tailgate down and have a seat! Once we learn about your personality traits, your likes and dislikes, and your crazy quirks, we'll be able to give you what you've been looking for your whole life - your Southern nickname! We highly recommend having a bowl of shrimp and grits as you go along to put you in the mood.

Whether you've just moved to the South and want a cool, new nickname or you were Southern born and bred and you feel left out, we've got you covered like the hash browns at Waffle House. We are prepared to make sure you have a Southern nickname that Roscoe P. Coletrain would find enviable. Share the way you drive down the dusty road of life with us, and we'll make sure you feel as Southern as a Mint Julep on a hot summer's day.

You might not feel like Hillbilly on the inside, but once we explain it, the nickname might grow on you. You'll just have to tell us what we need to know about you. Then, you'll get a nickname so Southern, the South will be calling you for advice!

How much of a showoff are you?

I show off in basketball.

I don't need to show off.

I shine naturally.

I show off a lot.

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Are you a big smarty pants?

Sometimes people turn to me expecting that, but I don't give it to them.

I'm not.

I'm too laid back for that.

All the time.

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Do you ever "call a shot" and miss?

Not usually.

Not ever.

Sometimes.

All the time.

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Are you a card player?

No.

I only play "Go Fish."

Sometimes.

Yes, a big one.

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Do you play a lot of sports?

Yes, I do.

Not really.

Only when I was in school.

I try, but I fail.

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Do people ever ask you for help with chores?

All the time.

No, they help me.

Not unless there's an executive decision that needs making.

No.

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Do people ever make jokes about your appearance?

Yes, all the time.

Just my age.

No.

Only when I look dumb.

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Do people judge you for your age?

No.

Yes, and it upsets me.

Yes, and it benefits me.

Not unless I give them cause.

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Do you feel like you're on the lowest rung of the ladder?

Not really.

Yes.

Not at all.

Only when I make a terrible choice.

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Do people look to you for authority?

If there's a small group.

No, never.

Frequently.

Not if they know me.

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Do people think you are smarter than you are?

Sometimes.

No.

Frequently.

They underestimate me.

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Do people second guess themselves when they disagree with you?

If I'm in a suit.

Not usually.

All the time.

No.

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Do you have a lot of younger siblings?

No, just one.

No, I'm the youngest.

Yes, I'm the oldest.

No, I'm an only child.

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What kind of physical presence do you have?

I'm a tall drink of water.

I'm a baby-faced imp.

I'm a big broad bro.

I'm a skinny weasel-looking dude.

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When you want to exercise authority, how do you do it?

I raise my vocal volume and stand.

I ask someone to do me a favor.

I lay down the law.

I explain my brilliance.

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Do you have a lot of friends who look like you?

Yes, quite a few.

I have my little tribe.

I have a large circle of them.

No.

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Were you popular in college?

On sports teams, yeah.

In certain circles, yes.

At my frat, yeah.

No.

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Were you popular in high school?

No, I was a tall dork.

Yes, I was the baby everyone loved.

I was the natural leader.

No, I was considered annoying.

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What sort of people do you date?

Amazons or tall guys.

Little people.

Type-As.

I tell everyone I only date 10s. It's a lie.

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Do you come from a small town?

Very small.

Small-ish.

I come from a medium sized town.

I come from a big city.

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How much do you reject your origins?

Not at all.

Just a bit.

I only reject my aunt Edna.

I reject it all.

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How much a part of the system are you?

I'm a component of it.

I'm a tiny part of it.

I could be a pivotal part of the system if I wanted to be.

I'm a total outsider.

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What kind of vehicle do you drive?

A Chevy Suburban.

A Ford Fiesta.

A Chevy Silverado

A secondhand Mercury.

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What kind of dog would you have?

An Irish wolfhound.

A bloodhound.

A Labrador.

A Doberman pinscher.

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What kind of game would you hunt?

Birds.

Fox.

Deer.

Dragon.

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How many teeth do you have left?

Most of them.

Half of them.

All of them.

One.

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Do you have a farmer's tan?

Yes I do!

Only from the waist up.

No, I take my shirt off when I tan.

I can't tan because I have a genetic condition.

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Do you get out much?

Every weekend.

On Thursday and Friday nights.

I get out several times a week.

I only go out for poker tournaments.

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How's your professional future looking these days?

I'm on my way up.

I've found a niche where I'm happy.

I'm large and in charge.

I'm deeply dissatisfied.

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What are your personal expectations with regards to career?

I expect a comfortable middle-class life.

I expect to find someone to take care of me.

I expect to run my own business.

I will be the President of The World!

You Got:

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