Do you have what it takes to survive the Litchfield Penitentiary?

By: Bri O.
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Do you have what it takes to survive the Litchfield Penitentiary?
Image: Lionsgate Television Tilted Productions

About This Quiz

If Piper Chapman can survive Litchfield Prison (thus far), chances are you can too. But then again, you might not make it out. Life in this lockup is totally unpredictable - do you have what it takes to survive? Play on to find out!
Do you believe anyone is capable of committing a felony?
Yes.
No, but a lot of people are.
No, only certain people are capable of committing crimes serious enough to be felonies.
No, but most people are.
Which jumpsuit color would look best on you?
Tan
Blue
Gray
Orange
Are you comfortable with nudity?
100% - I'd totally live in a nudist community.
Privately, yes, but not publicly.
As long as it's not directly in my face, I don't mind.
Unless I'm with a sexual partner or by myself, no.

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Do you have any dietary restrictions?
No.
Lifestyle-related restrictions.
Medical-related restrictions.
Religion-related restrictions.
How do you feel about communal bathrooms and showers?
A shower is a shower.
I can't stand them; I'm a bit germaphobic.
I'm easily grossed out by public/communal bathrooms.
I mean, I'd prefer a private bath, but we can't all get what we want.
Are rules meant to be broken?
Some rules, sure.
They're meant to be respected and followed.
They exist for a reason.
Yes, definitely.

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Do you have any "street smarts"?
Yes, I'm well-versed.
No, I'm somewhat naive.
I'm more book smart.
I have some.
If someone in a position of power over you offends you, what do you do?
Plot my revenge and wait patiently for the right time.
Feel bad about it and avoid them in the future.
Defend myself.
Keep my mouth shut and move on.
How would your friends describe you?
Resourceful
Quick-witted
Invincible
Determined

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What does "being resourceful" mean to you?
Capitalizing on an opportunity to fuel a black market and generate illicit funds.
Using available produce and spices to make homemade alcohol.
Fashioning hard candy into a shiv.
Using menstrual pads to create temporary shower shoes.
What's something you can't survive without?
Food and water, duh.
Books.
Time and space to be alone.
Human connection.
Can you deal with having little to no privacy?
Sure, it's nothing new to me.
No.
Maybe, but it might eventually cause me to freak out.
Probably, but it would suck majorly.

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Are you a picky eater?
Nah, I'll eat anything.
Yes.
Kind of, but it's nothing I can't get past if I'm hungry enough.
I eat most typical foods.
If someone were to urinate on your dorm floor for the purpose of revenge, what would you do?
Confront the perpetrator.
Cry.
I have no idea.
Clean it up and hope it doesn't happen again.
How do you take the edge off?
With a drink or something like that.
I don't.
I try to relax and eventually fall asleep.
I like to clean or engage in another physical activity.

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Has anyone ever told you that you have anger issues?
Once or twice, but that's in the past.
Many times.
Yes, and I've tried to get it under control.
No.
How do you handle bad news?
I take it in stride.
I don't usually handle it well.
With a lot of support from loved ones.
It depends on how bad it is, but I can usually cope.
Have you ever had to go an extended length of time without eating anything substantial?
More than 4 days.
Less than 2 days.
Less than 1 day.
Between 2 and 4 days.

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Do you ever struggle to find motivation?
No.
It's a constant struggle.
More often than not, yeah.
I go through rough patches here and there.
How are your social skills?
They're not too shabby.
They could use some improvement.
They aren't the greatest.
I'm a social butterfly.
Do you have a support system that would help contribute to your commissary account?
I'd find a way to build a system to support myself.
No, I'm on my own.
Yes, I have a reliable support system.
They wouldn't be able to contribute much.

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Is sexuality fluid?
It is for me.
No.
Kinda, but that's not my thing.
It is for some people.
How many uses do tampons have?
Countless.
One - their intended use.
Two - they're also good for nosebleeds.
At least a small handful of uses.
Do you have a guilt complex?
No.
Yeah, it's a problem.
I'm working to get over it.
I used to.

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On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being most and 1 being least, how paranoid are you?
More than 6.
Can I go higher than 10?
5 or less.
Whatever the average number is.
Have you ever been in a physical altercation?
Yes, and it didn't end well for the other person.
Yes, and it didn't end well for me.
No.
Yes, and it didn't end well for either of us.
Are you able to pick up on subtle nuances in a new group of people?
Yeah, it's easy enough to pick up on.
No, it's a challenge.
What's there to pick up on?
It depends on the group of people.

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Do you enjoy reading and/or writing?
Reading
No
Both
Writing
Would you rather stay busy or relax and enjoy your time?
Stay busy.
It depends on my mood.
I'd rather do whatever I feel like doing at the time.
Relax.
Who's your favorite character?
Gloria Mendoza
Suzanne (a.k.a. "Crazy Eyes")
Alex Vause
Red

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