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About This Quiz
Family Guy is known for its humor, but how many of these hilarious quotes do you know from the show?
Who said the line: "Haven't seen the newspaper boy in a couple days. Wonderin' if he's ever gonna come back."
Peter
Brian
Chris
Herbert
Herbert leaves over a hundred messages on the Griffin's answering machine while the family is out of town, and all of the messages relate to Chris bringing the newspaper to his house.
Who said the line: "Giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy!"
Chris
Quagmire
"Giggidy" is a phrase used by Quagmire to typically express sexual excitement, but occasionally, the phrase is used in other manners like in the place of "awesome."
Peter
Joe
Who said the line: "Perhaps it was the Noid who should have avoided me."
Adam West
When a Noid ruins Adam's pizza, the mayor throws it across the room before finally breaking its neck. He walks back to his pizza and gives that famous line in front of Meg Griffin.
Peter
Quagmire
Stewie
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Who said the line: "Damn you, damn the broccoli, and damn the Wright Brothers!"
Stewie
Lois tries to feed Stewie broccoli, while holding the spoon in the air like an airplane, but he refuses to eat it. When she explains that the broccoli isn't going away, Stewie decides he must destroy all broccoli.
Chris
Meg
Peter
Who said the line: "They have this game where you put in a dollar, and you win four quarters!"
Peter
Chris
Lois books a reservation for Stewie's birthday at Cheesie Charlie's, and when Peter ask about the place, Chris can't contain his excitement about a game he played there.
Stewie
Joe
Who said the line: "How positively delightful... it's as if someone stabbed Mr. Bubble!"
Joe
Quagmire
Stewie
When Peter constructs a lie about Chris to get a TV show put back on air, the Griffin family gets struck by six plagues from God. One of the plagues involves Stewie's bath water, which turns into blood.
Meg
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Who said the line: "Hey Barkeep, who's leg do you gotta' hump to get a dry martini around here?"
Peter
Joe
Brian
Brian is known for his witty lines and alcoholic tendencies. This quote combines them both in only the second episode of the show, "I Never Met the Dead Man."
Quagmire
Who said the line: "My God, I'm a tomato!"
Peter
Meg
Stewie
Adam West
Mayor West starts to bleed after being hit in the face with a brick. His only explanation for the red blood is that he must be a tomato.
Who said the line: "Peter, we have a hamper. Stop throwing your dirty clothes in the toilet."
Meg
Joe
Lois
Lois accepts that Peter isn't the cleanest husband, and she constantly picks up after him. However, some of Peter's actions are quite absurd.
Chris
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Who said the line: "Lois, this is not my Batman glass."
Chris
Stewie
Meg
Peter
While Chris is worried that his teacher doesn't like him, Peter can only think about his batman glass that Lois forgot to put on the table for him at dinner.
Who said the line: "Hello, 911?...Yeah, it's caught in the window this time."
Peter
Quagmire
When a window slams shut, Quagmire gets his private part stuck in the window. His call to 911 shows that this wasn't the first time it got stuck somewhere though.
Lois
Brian
Who said the line: "Buttscratcher?"
Lois
Peter
When Chris needs money for tuition at school, Peter gets another job. This job requires him to walk around selling Buttscratchers.
Chris
Joe
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Who said the line: "Alright, everyone but Chris keep your pants on and let's figure this out."
Joe
Quagmire
Herbert
People start to die during a prize getaway to a mansion, and everyone begins to freak out. Luckily, Herbert is there to keep them all calm, while also hoping Chris will take his pants off.
Cleveland
Who said the line: "Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find... I shall kill you."
Chris
Meg
Cleveland
Stewie
During Stewie's birthday party, Chris offers him ice cream. Stewie accepts the ice cream, but he demands it a certain way.
Who said the line: "It's peanut butter jelly time!"
Brian
Peter and Stewie finally bond, but Peter betrays Stewie's trust. Since Peter is upset that Stewie is hurt by his actions, Brian tries to cheer Peter up by wearing a banana outfit and singing.
Stewie
Peter
Lois
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Who said the line: "And boom goes the dynamite!"
Joe
Cleveland
Brian's girlfriend cheats on him with Cleveland. But to make matters worse, Brian keeps running into them having sex, and each time Cleveland climaxes, he utters this quote.
Chris
Quagmire
Who said the line: "I'm not a dog you fat bastard!"
Chris
Brian
Meg
Peter and Brian have a falling out, and Peter looks to Meg for friendship. However, Peter quickly begins to treat her like a dog, and she angrily snaps back at Peter.
Stewie
Who said the line: "I had such a crush on her. Until I met you Lois. You're my silver medal."
Chris
Cleveland
Peter
Peter tells Lois he had a crush on Phoebe Diamond in high school. Since Peter was too awkward to talk to Phoebe, things didn't work out, and he ended up marrying Lois, who is apparently his "silver metal."
Joe
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Who said the line: "Coming up next, Diane's weight."
Adam West
Tom Tucker
Tom and Diane are co-anchors on Quahog 5 News, and they have a difficult and hate-filled relationship. These kind of jabs are common on-air during their broadcasts.
Lois
Peter
Who said the line: "Ah, my legs!"
Joe
Joe is paralyzed from the waist down, but during many of the side adventures on the show, he loses his legs like when they are ran over by a train.
Quagmire
Stewie
Peter
Who said the line: "Please go out with me. I'm just trying to make Neil jealous. I promise I'll pay and everything."
Lois
Jake Tucker
Meg
Meg is jealous when she finds out that Neil has a girlfriend, which is surprising since she seemed to hate him before. She becomes so desperate that she offers to pay someone else for a date to make Neil jealous of her.
Stewie
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Who said the line: "Dear diary, jackpot!"
Cleveland
Stewie
Quagmire
Stewie wants to be a cheerleader because he thinks they have mind control powers, so he ties up the head cheerleader and leaves her in a bathroom stall. Later, Quagmire finds her in the stall and says this line, which is probably something he has always dreamed about.
Joe
Who said the line: "We need more Lemon Pledge."
Lois
Consuela
Consuela is a hispanic maid, who once worked for the Griffins. She is difficult to get along with and very demanding. Her top demand is Lemon Pledge.
Meg
Joe
Who said the line: "They let Sarah Jessica Parker's face on TV, and she looks like a foot!"
Brian
Quagmire
Lois
Peter
The FCC takes a stronger hold on television censorship after a wardrobe malfunction at the Emmy's, and this enrages Peter. This quote is a result of his outrage towards the FCC.
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Who said the line: "The mind-control device is nearing completion!"
Chris
Stewie
Peter gets a welfare check for $150,000, but the government soon finds out that he cashed it, even though Peter knew the amount was wrong. The judge sentences Peter to jail time, but Stewie uses the mind-control device to reverse the sentencing.
Joe
Quagmire
Who said the line: "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Get some! Get some! Yeah! Sex! Sex! Sex!"
Quagmire
Joe
Joe has surgery and can use his legs again. Now that he can walk, he can also have sex, which he does while yelling this line. Sadly, nobody likes the more physically active Joe, and everyone, including his wife, team up to paralyze Joe again.
Cleveland
Peter
Who said the line: "Someone is stealing my water!"
Peter
Chris
Adam West
Mayor West watches water go down the drain in a sink and believes that someone is stealing the water. In order to find the thief, he uses tax money to investigate.
James Woods
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Who said the line: "No matter what you do for the rest of your life, you'll always be garbage."
Stewie
Peter
Lois
Lois is forced into the boxing ring by Peter, but she thinks it is a gag. However, when the other girl punches Lois, Lois knocks the girl out and calls her garbage. Lois isn't someone to mess with.
Meg
Who said the line: "You all think Christmas falls from the freakin' sky. Well it doesn't! It falls out of my holly jolly butt!"
Peter
Santa Claus
Lois
Christmas gets ruined at the Griffin household. To make matters worse, they are out of paper towels. The paper towels are the boiling point for Lois. She snaps into a violent rage after finding out.
Adam West
Who said the line: "This is stupid. I want to talk about vaginas!"
Joe
Joe, Peter, Quagmire, and Cleveland decide that they talk about sex too much and try to have a conversation about business, but Joe can't stand it and wants to talk about vaginas again.
Quagmire
Cleveland
Peter
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Who said the line: "Would you do me? I'd do me. I'd do me so hard."
Meg
Brian
Chris
The most popular girl in school, Connie D'Amico, decides to date Chris, which increases Chris' popularity in return, but later, a video is released of Chris dancing naked while saying this line, destroying his popularity.
Peter
Who said the line: "Fat chicks need love too. But they gotta pay!"
Peter
Quagmire
Peter puts up his house to buy a boat because he wants to start a life as a fisherman, but his fishing career isn't working out. Quagmire tells Peter that he can rent himself out to fat chicks who want sex to pay back the loan.
Joe
Cleveland
Who said the line: "Roadhouse!"
Stewie
Brian
Joe
Peter
Peter purchases the DVD Road House, and after watching it, he believes that all problems can be solved by kicking them. He goes around kicking everything then says "Roadhouse" when he is finished.
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Who said the line: "The life of the wife is ended by the knife."
Meg
Stewie
After a bet with Brian, Stewie tries to teach Eliza Pinchley to speak proper English by getting her to say the phrase "the life of the wife is ended by the knife."
Chris
Peter
Who said the line: "Well, no offense to you, Meg, but you're a 17-year-old girl, and I don't need you here."
Peter
Herbert
Herbert agrees to babysit the Griffin children while Lois and Peter go to a conference with Brian. When Meg says she is seventeen and doesn't need a babysitter, Herbert replies with this line, further playing into the notion that he likes boys.
Quagmire
Joe
You Got:
/35
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