Fill In the Blanks and We'll Guess When You First Got Laid

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Fill In the Blanks and We'll Guess When You First Got Laid
Image: eclipse_images/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Society has always placed a tremendous amount of importance on the subject of sexual intercourse. There was a time when, in the case of royal couples, an audience would need to be present for the couple's first wedded sexual congress, to prove that the marriage had been consummated and that it was law, since so much was at stake. Some cultures, to this day, have virginity checks which are performed on women prior to marriage.

Even in the modern West, the ideas of purity, virginity, adulthood and childhood all play heavily into how we think about sex, value it and think of ourselves in relation to it. Losing one's virginity is seen as one of the great rites of passage nearly everyone must one day make, and in some societies this fetishizing of losing virginity is taken to extremes. Some people plan out a specific night to meet with their partner, or choose a vacation destination, or even wait until their wedding night. Some of this comes from social pressure, some from religious prohibition, some from the popular culture people consume. The effect is that everyone has a story about how they first got laid, one that encapsulates a part of their lives and says something about who they were - and who they became. 

Fill in the blanks on this quiz, and we'll guess when you first got laid!

Tallying things up, how would you fill in the blank for the statement "I typically have sex ______ time(s) a week"?
Four
Two or three
One
Six or more
Be honest! How would you fill in the blank for "I read _________ books a year"?
Zero
12
24
50+
Look under your proverbial mattress! How would you fill in the blank for the statement "I think pornography is _________"?
Pretty close to the way most people have sex
As close to depicting sex as "Die Hard II" is to depicting air travel
Sinful, awful, wonderful fun
In need of more scenes depicting degradation

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How would you fill in the blank in the statement "The first Star Wars movie is episode _____"?
Seven
IV
One
Rogue One
Listen up! How would you fill in the blank in "________ is clearly the greatest band of all time"?
Deerhunter
Led Zeppelin
The Beatles
Linkin Park
Confess: what would you fill in the blank for "I go to religious services ________ times a year"?
Zero
Two
Six
60

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Put on your glasses. How would you fill in the blank for the statement "The last book I read was a ___________ book"?
College text
Biographical
Classic
E-
Thinking cap time! How would you fill in the blank for "When I'm not sure of what to do, I __________"?
Turn to my parents
Research online
Ask my pastor
Freeze
Look at the time! How would you fill in the blank for the statement "I go out _________ nights a week with friends"?
5
2
1
0

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Let's get a little intimate. How would you fill in the blank for "I wait until the _______ date before I have sex with someone"?
First
Fourth
20th
Nth
Reminiscing, how would you fill in the blank for the statement "I met the love of my life when I was ___________ years old"?
25
22
30
12
Dinner time! How would you fill in the blank for the statement "I love to involve ________ in sex"?
Whipped cream
Chocolate syrup
Fruit
Cereal

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Can you complete the sentence "In the film 'American Pie,' I identified with ___________"?
Jim Levenstein
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher
Michelle Flaherty
Stifler
Getting a little Freudian, how would you fill in the blank in "I ________ battery-powered toys"?
Can't afford
Love to use
Reject as sinful
Own lots of
Time to really get into your head. How would you fill in the blank for the statement "I really wish I owned ___________ so I could show off how cool I am"?
The latest iPhone
A stylish wardrobe
A BMW
A private jet

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Looking at your career, how would you fill in the blank for the statement "If only ______________, I'd have a much better career"?
My parents had paid my rent another month
I'd worked harder
I wasn't such a sinner
I'd gotten into my dream college
Let's get a bit more specific. How would you fill in the blank for "I would consider myself a/an ____________ fetishist"?
Risky sex
Light bondage
Body part
Oral sex
Let's stick around the office late. How would you fill in the blank for the statement "My best work-related skill is ___________"?
My networking prowess
My craft skills
My discipline
My ability to seduce my co-workers

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Reach for the remote and think hard. How would you fill in the blank for the statement "My favorite childhood TV show was ____________"?
"Power Rangers"
"Transformers"
"The 700 Club"
Nothing, because I couldn't watch TV
Can you fill in the blank for the statement "I like to wear ________ when I'm going on a date"?
Loads of makeup
Clothes that leave nothing to the imagination
Tight leather
Minimal undergarments
Think of every year of your life. How would you fill in the blank for the statement "If I could live forever at any age, it'd have to be _________"?
16
22
31
19

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Get pumped! How would you fill in the blank for the statement "I keep fit by __________"?
Smashing
Cross-training
Running
Doing MMA
Time to get chilling. How would you fill in the blank for the statement "In the TV adaptation of 'The Handmaid's Tale,' I see ___________"?
Something so horrifying it seems pretty ridiculous
Something plausible, hence horrifying
Nothing wrong
Love
Cuddle up! What do you choose to fill in the blank for the statement "My favorite thing to do with my significant other is cuddle up and watch __________"?
Netflix
HBO et al.
The fireplace
Steamy movies

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Whistle for your pet! How would you fill in the blank for the statement "My preferred pet is a __________"?
Cat
Dog
Bird
Ferret
Look yourself over and fill in the blank! How would you complete "The material thing I hope impresses people the most when they see me is my ____________"?
Phone
Wristwatch
Wedding ring
Tattoo
Let's talk sports. How would you fill in the blank for "I closely follow _______ sports team(s)"?
One
Three
10
Zero

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Use your imagination for this. Can you fill in the blank for the statement "________ of mine probably think I'm the best partner they ever had"?
One or two exes
Two or three exes
I hope one ex
Five or more exes
Let's focus on you. How would you fill in the blank for "I'm a member of __________"?
The Mile High Club
The 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Club
The Public Bathroom Club
The Oval Office Club
Be cool about this, but how would you fill in the blank for the statement "The sexual thing that freaked me out the most to see was ___________"?
Going into a sex shop for the first time
Seeing my parents do it, by accident of course
Learning about all the terrible things done in the afterlife to people who commit sins of sexual deviance
How easy it is to get it on dating apps

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You Got: