How Irish Are You?

By: Steven Miller
Estimated Completion Time
6 min
How Irish Are You?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

There's more to being Irish than drinking green beer and loving Bono. In fact, the reality is that the Irish generally aren't fans of either of those things.

While there are some unfair stereotypes of the Irish people, some of them are well-earned and beloved badges of honor for the culture. For example, those from the Emerald Isle do tend to be excellent storytellers, and it is pretty common for them to complain a bit about the weather. Although, you might do a little belly-aching too if it was as cold and rainy on a regular basis where you lived.

The Irish people have also earned the reputation for being extremely friendly and welcoming to visitors and guests. At the same time, while the Irish are known to enjoy an adult beverage now and again, they're not all drunks, and they're also not all hot-tempered jerks who lose their cool at the drop of a hat. It's true that there is a bit of melancholy in the songs and spirit of the Irish people, but they are also world-renowned for their ability to celebrate, at both weddings and funerals.

Despite having had to deal with the Viking, Roman, and English occupations of their homeland for centuries, the Irish spirit is resilient and filled with a great sense of humor and an artistic flair. Let's find out if you have what it takes to truly call yourself Irish.

Do you drink tea?
Yes, multiple times a day.
I'm sure to have a spot of tea at least once a day.
I have a cup of tea once in a while.
I don't like tea.
What is your favorite vegetable?
Corn
Carrots
Cabbage
Potatoes
How would you describe your sense of humor?
Raunchy
Silly
Dark
Dry

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Which beer do you prefer?
Guinness
Murphy's Irish Stout
Budweiser
Harp
Which Irish folk song do you like the most?
"Whiskey in the Jar"
"Black Velvet Band"
"Danny Boy"
"Finnegan's Wake"
Do you tend to complain?
I try not to complain very much.
I won't complain about you to your face, but everyone else is sure to hear about it.
I just keep a stiff upper lip and keep plugging along.
Yeah, I do tend to complain quite a lot.

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How do you react when someone compliments you?
I have no idea what to do. I usually do some self-deprecation about how terrible I actually am.
It is sure to throw me off, for sure.
I resist it at first, but I eventually do accept the compliment.
I accept the compliment and thank them.
What do you think of U2's Bono?
I'm a huge fan of Bono.
I admire the work he does, but he can be a bit over-the-top.
He's a bit full of himself, but the music is pretty great.
I honestly can't stand him.
How big is your family?
If you include the cousins, it's pretty large.
It's a pretty decent-sized clan.
It's a huge group, and that's not even including the extended family.
We're a pretty small family.

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Do you swear a lot?
For f&#*% sake, of course I do.
I do swear a bit in adult company, but I try to keep things clean around the kids.
I hardly ever swear.
I have to admit that I use a fair amount of foul language.
Would you consider yourself to be a friendly person?
I have moments of friendliness, but I'm kind of a grouch.
It totally depends on my mood that day.
I generally just keep to myself.
I am incredibly friendly.
How spiritual are you?
I'm not spiritual at all.
I grew up going to church, but I just go on Christmas and Easter now.
I'm spiritual, but I wouldn't say that I'm religious.
I attend services every week.

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How many women named Bridget do you personally know?
More than one.
One.
I don't know any personally, but I know a few famous people who are named Bridget.
None.
How common is it for you to use the term "wee" when describing an amount of something?
I don't think that ever crosses my lips.
It would be pretty rare for me to say that.
That might slip in there once in a while.
I say that all the time.
What is "the craic"?
Laughter and gossip
Something that takes place down at the pub
Entertaining stories
An illegal drug of some kind

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How do you feel about the weather?
It rains all the time, how do you think I feel about the weather?
It's the weather, it depends on the day.
The weather where I'm at is amazing.
I complain about it, but I secretly love how much it rains.
Which meal sounds the most appealing to you?
Hamburger and fries
Bangers and mash
Sushi
Corned beef and cabbage
How good are you at telling a story?
I'm not much of a storyteller.
I can keep the crowd on the edge of their seats.
I'm better at it when I've had a few.
I definitely get into it, but sometimes my audience isn't up to the task.

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How frequently do you contemplate death?
That's probably the main thing I think about.
I do find myself drifting into morbid thoughts on a pretty regular basis.
It might occur to me once in a while, but I usually let it go.
I hardly ever think about my own mortality.
Are you a procrastinator?
Not at all
I used to be, but I'm getting better at taking care of things when they pop up.
I do tend to put things off that I'm not looking forward to.
Let me get back to you on that one.
Would you prefer to live in the city or out in the country?
I'd prefer to live out in the middle of nowhere.
I'd prefer to live in a college town.
I would like to be out in the country, but close enough to make convenient runs into town.
I'd definitely like to live in a big city.

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Would you consider yourself to be a bit of a poet?
I can relate to the artist's way, but my poems are pretty terrible.
I've tried poetry before, but it was pretty awful.
I wouldn't consider myself to be a poet at all.
Yes, I'm definitely a poet at heart.
How would you describe the atmosphere at funerals in your family?
There are occasional outbursts, but it's generally pretty quiet and sad.
It's basically a party.
The scene is very reserved and quiet.
There's a lot of crying and perhaps even more laughing.
When you lose something important to you, what's the first thing you do?
I retrace my steps to figure out where I left it.
I pray to St. Anthony.
I check the cushions of my couch.
I berate myself for being so stupid.

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If you're upset with someone, how do you usually handle it?
I pretend nothing is wrong and complain about them behind their backs.
They'll know it. I mean, I won't say anything directly to them, but they can feel it.
I start a fight with them.
I tell them directly how what they did affected me.
How would you deal with being served food that was not good?
I would complain to the waiter and send it back.
It would have to be pretty bad for me to send it back.
I'd complain about it to the people I was eating with, and I'd only send it back if they did too.
I would choke it down and relish the opportunity to complain about it later.
How close are you with your cousins?
We see each other around the holidays and at weddings and funerals. We're pretty close.
We see each other once in a while.
We talk on a very regular basis. They are totally part of my family.
I have almost no relationship with my cousins.

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Have you ever been an altar server?
Yes, I was an altar server for a number of years as a kid.
I was never an altar server.
What's an altar server?
I did it for a little while, but I was pretty terrible at it.
Are you comfortable talking about feelings?
I do alright, but I wouldn't exactly say I'm comfortable with it.
Not really, but I'm learning to do it more than I used to.
Yes, I'm totally comfortable discussing how I feel.
Nope, next question.
How do you react if you hear someone say, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!"?
Is that a folk group?
I cringe and wait for the drama that is about to unfold.
I think of the nativity scene.
I'm taken back to scoldings as a child.

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