How Much of a Hypochondriac are You?

By: Brian Whitney
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
How Much of a Hypochondriac are You?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

All of us get sick from time to time, but if you are a hypochondriac you worry about getting sick and dying so much that it can make you, and everyone else around you crazy. How much of a hypochondriac are you?
How often do you worry about your health?
Never.
Only when you have reason to.
Fairly often.
All the time.
Do you worry so much about your health that you can't concentrate at work or have fun in your freetime?
Not even a little.
Only if you have a medical problem.
Sometimes upi do.
You worry all the time.
How often do you check out health-related websites?
You didn't even know those existed.
Only when looking for something specific.
Occasionally.
All the time.

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You have had a bad cough lately. What do you think or do?
You think, "I am coughing, who cares?"
You think that you might be getting a cold and should probably take it easy.
You think that you might have to take some time off from work, as you are getting sick.
You think that you obviously have lung cancer even though you don't even smoke!
You know your partner is at home, but when you arrive you don't hear anything, what is up?
They must be asleep.
They must not have heard me come in.
They must be having an affair.
They must be dead.
You just fell down hard on the ice, what do you think?
"That was hilarious!"
"Man that was dumb, I need to be more careful."
"I hope I didn't crack my ribs."
"I cracked my ribs."

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You just noticed a mole on your arm that seems new, what do you think?
"Man it is a drag getting older."
"I should probably get that checked out."
"Oh, no! I hope that is not cancerous."
"I will probably be dead within a month."
Have you ever been to the doctor and they could not find anything wrong with you?
No.
Yes, but you were just going to be safe anyway.
Yes, but you still were glad you checked.
Yes, all the time.
How many times have you gone to the doctors and nothing was wrong?
Never.
Once.
2-5 times.
More than 5 times.

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Do you often worry about dying?
Never.
No more than normal.
You do often.
All the time.
How many times have you been to the doctor over the past 5 years?
0.
1-5.
6-20.
Over 20.
Do other people tire of you complaining about what is wrong with you?
No, because you never do.
No, because you do not do it often.
Yes, sometimes.
Yes, all the time.

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How much money would you give to be cancer free for the rest of your life?
Nothing. Why worry about that?
You don't know, a couple grand?
All the money you had.
You would give all your money and everything you own.
Do you worry about having things like cancer and HIV, and other things with low cure rates?
No.
Sure, a little.
Yeah, you do a lot.
Yes, all the time.
Do you ever worry about a dog licking you?
No.
You don't worry, but it is kind of gross.
Yeah, it freaks you out.
Yes, dogs are all murderers.

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How often do you wash your hands?
You did yesterday you think.
Only when you need to.
You do it several times a day.
You do it over 10 times a day.
Do you touch doorknobs or toilet seats in public restrooms?
Sure you do.
You do, but you think about it.
You do but then you wash your hands thoroughly.
Never.
Do you avoid sex because of STD contraction?
Because of what?
No, but you are careful.
You would not say that you avoid them, but you do worry about it a lot.
Oh yeah you do.

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Would you use a bar of soap in someone else's shower?
Yeah.
Yes, but you don't like thinking about it.
No, you bring my own.
No.
Do you ever think your heartbeat is abmormal?
You don't know.
No, but you do check it from time to time.
Yes, all the time.
Yes, and you don't know why my doctor won't agree with you about it.
Does lead paint and mold freak you out?
No. Should it?
No, but I you aware of it, and would not want it in ypur home.
Well, yeah it should. That stuff is nasty.
Yes, they are silent killers.

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Do you worry about viruses in distant countries coming here to kill us all?
What is that, some plot to a science fiction movie?
No, I listen to science.
Of course, it is pretty scary.
Only a lunatic would not be scared of that.
When do you use sunscreen?
Never.
Only when I am in the sun a lot.
I use it most days when I am outside.
I use it all the time.
Is your tongue pink enough?
What are you talking about?
I think so.
I don't think so.
No!

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How likely is it that a tick is going to give you Lyme Disease?
Not al all.
Not very.
Kind of.
Totally.
Does wearing contact lenses freak you out?
No, why?
A little, but it is easy to get used to.
Oh yeah, I will stick with glasses.
Why would anyone put something in their eyeball???
Which of these "Seinfeld" characters do you identify with the most?
Kramer.
Elaine.
Jerry.
George.

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Do you avoid people that smoke?
Nah, who cares?
No, but you don't like how it smells.
Yes, you will cross the street if you have to.
Yes, those people are awful.
How often do you worry you are pregnant, or that you got someone pregnant?
Never.
Sometimes.
Often.
All the time.
What do you think of public touch screens?
You don't think about public touch screens.
Well, they are a little gross, but who cares?
They are totally disgusting.
They give people finger cancer.

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You Got: