Is "The Lifestyle" Right For You?

By: Ian Fortey
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Is "The Lifestyle" Right For You?
Image: Jeffrey Hamilton / Photodisc / Getty Images

About This Quiz

To a lot of people, the term "lifestyle" doesn't mean much more than the simple stuff about how you live your life. Your lifestyle is that of an affluent accountant. Or a grocery clerk. Or a poet! But to some people, the term "the lifestyle" denotes something very different. Essentially, it's the world of swingers and those sorts of open relationships that may include inviting extra people in or engaging in various dominant/submissive relationships. Often "the lifestyle" involves a local scene of like-minded people who may even get together for weekly or monthly gatherings. Some members of "the lifestyle" take this stuff very, very seriously. Some just want to do it for fun, and yet others are fairly new to the whole thing, so they're just testing the waters to see if they like it at all or not. 

If you've ever pondered "the lifestyle," you may not have been entirely sure if it's right for you. There are always going to be aspects that don't appeal to everyone, and then some that do. It may seem too involved or too confusing. After all, this all deals with an aspect of our lives, of society itself, that we're told to keep private all the time. How do you decide? Let us help! Take the quiz and see if "the lifestyle" is right for you.

Can you honestly say you could watch someone you deeply love passionately kiss another person and not be jealous?
Yes
I think I could handle that.
I have no idea.
Not at all
How much time would you say you spend thinking about people you'd like to be with, aside from your current partner?
Tons
I do fantasize a lot.
Not sure how much time but I do imagine other people sometimes.
Not much at all
How important is the idea of monogamy to you?
It's not.
I believe in love, but maybe not monogamy.
I like being in a committed relationship.
It's the basis of a good relationship.

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Why do you think people get angry when they find out a partner has had an affair?
People think they own each other sometimes.
The dishonesty
It's a betrayal of the relationship.
A relationship is supposed to be just two people, and an affair violates that.
Most people won't be honest here. Is it more OK for you to look at people you're attracted to than for your partner to do it?
They have as much right to do whatever they like as I do.
No
Well, it makes me less anxious.
Yes, because I know I what I'm thinking.
Is it possible to say you truly trust your partner and still be jealous?
Not at all
I don't think so.
I'm not sure.
Of course

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Have you ever had a threesome before?
Many times
Yes
I wanted to, but no.
Never
If your partner was talking to their ex online, how would you feel about that?
Talking is a pretty normal thing for people to do.
Fine
I'd be a little suspicious.
Angry
If you're out with your partner and someone hits on them, what would you do?
Watch.
Introduce myself.
Make it obvious that we're together.
Tell them to back off.

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If someone told you they were going to a munch, would you know what that meant?
I've been to some!
I know what it means.
Like ... lunch?
No clue
Do you know what it means to be collared?
Of course
I think so.
I'm not familiar with the term.
Nope
Is a one-night stand something to be ashamed of?
If you're safe and consenting, it's fine.
I don't think so.
Well, I'm not super proud of them.
Pretty much

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Everyone likes the beach, right? How about a nude beach?
Sign me up!
As long as I have sunscreen handy
Oof. Who else is there?
Nope
How many one-night stands would you say you've had in your life?
I've definitely had a few.
A couple of them
Just one
None
How many sexual partners have you had in your life anyway?
It's over 20.
It's under 20.
I could count them on one hand.
Not too many

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We have a bit of a habit of demonizing sexuality in our society. Ever used someone's sexuality to insult them?
Never!
Maybe when I was much younger
I try not to.
If they deserved the insult
How would you feel attending a party at which everyone had to remove their clothes at the door?
Now that sounds fun.
I'd be super nervous but it sounds exciting, too.
Are they strangers or friends or what?
I couldn't do that.
How often would you say you watch dirty movies online?
A heck of a lot
Pretty often
Every now and then I get the urge.
Barely ever

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Do you think "50 Shades of Grey" was an accurate portrayal of that kind of relationship?
Ugh. Not at all.
I hope not.
No idea
I've never seen it.
Do you know what a "unicorn" is?
Oh, yes!
Not really but I assume it's fun.
A magical horse?
No clue
Do you know what's expected if someone is holding an off-premise get together?
Nothing happens on the scene.
You meet somewhere else?
A change of location
No idea

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Have you ever watched another couple getting intimate in real life, as opposed to just on video?
I have.
I've heard people but never watched.
No, but the idea is kind of hot.
Of course not
In general, are you good at making friends when you meet new people?
I'm very social.
I like to think so.
It can take me a little while to warm up.
I can be kind of awkward.
If your partner wants to try something new are you going to be open to the idea whatever it is?
Of course! Worst case scenario is I don't like it, and we stop.
Yeah, I'd probably be willing to try new stuff.
Maybe?
That depends on what we're talking about.

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Would you ever send your partner a dirty text message while they were at work?
I do that all the time.
Sure, that sounds fun.
I could maybe do that.
Not when they're at work.
What do you think about bondage?
Love it!
I'm not into it, but it's cool if other people are.
I don't have much experience.
Not for me
Do you know what "soft swinging" refers to?
Yes, I do.
I think I know that one.
I can Google it!
No idea

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Would you ever consider soft swinging? That is, having sex in a room with another couple but not swapping partners?
It sounds like a fun start.
That sounds very sexy.
Oh wow. Maybe!
No, I wouldn't.
How much of an exhibitionist would you say you are?
I do love being the center of attention.
I can show off sometimes.
It depends on the circumstances.
Not much of one
Is it wrong to pay for sex?
Between consenting adults? Never.
I don't think so.
I don't think you should have to pay.
Yes, it's a crime.

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