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Do you like animals?
Nope.
Love them.
I'm afraid of animals.
Does the animal smell, fart, poop, or need to be taken care of?
Do you consider yourself a cranky person?
Not really.
No, but people call me Scrooge.
Sometimes.
Often.
What is your biggest fear?
Food poisoning.
Being burned alive.
Insects.
A dog licking me on the face.
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Did you receive nice presents as a child?
Never.
We had a ton of them under a tree.
Usually.
I did get a puppy once.
What is your favorite type of gift?
A gift card because people stink at picking things out.
Electronics.
Food.
Legos.
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Have you ever participated in a white elephant?
Nope.
No, but I'm excited to see how it works.
Every year.
I have a couple times.
What do you hope you get for your white elephant?
A book.
Some kind of kitchen utensil.
A movie.
Something unique.
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What will make the party awful for you?
My ex shows up.
I receive a miserable white elephant which I'm forced to laugh about.
There is no food.
Someone spiked the punch and I say something really bad.
What do you intend to buy for a white elephant?
A gift card.
A block of soap.
10 pounds of mayonnaise.
A half-eaten apple.
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What is your usual disposition?
I'm Scrooge, so...
I'm evenly boring.
Friendly.
I'm usually happy but can spiral downward if someone says something mean.
Where would you like to spend the winter months?
The Caribbean.
At home.
Ice fishing in Minnesota.
I don't care.
Have you ever received a living, white elephant gift?
Umm, no.
Is fruitcake living?
I have not, and hope never to receive that.
Yes..sadly.
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How far did you travel for your white elephant party?
Less than 25 miles.
25 to 75 miles.
75 to 150 miles.
Over 150 miles. My mom says she doesn't see me enough.
What is your holiday drink?
Egg nog.
Lots and lots of punch.
Wine is a go to.
Whatever concoction Uncle Freddie made up this year.
Do you look forward to the white elephant gift exchange?
Nope. Not at all.
I guess.
Sure.
Absolutely.
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If you get an audio cassette, who do you hope it is?
The Beach Boys.
Elvis Presley.
Belinda Carlisle.
The Monkees.
Where will you hang out at the party?
In the garage with the other people who don't want to be there.
In the bathroom crying.
Wherever the games are.
By the food and alcohol.
Who is your favorite Scrooge-type character?
The Grinch
Haymitch Abernathy
Severus Snape
Minny Jackson
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How much are you willing to spend on a white elephant?
Less than $5
Between $5 and $10.
Up to $20.
I don't have a limit.
What is your white elephant rule?
The gift needs to be useful.
The gift shouldn't cost the receiver any money.
The gift should be refundable.
The gift cannot be re-gifted from a previous year.
Are your white elephant gifts better or worse than you typically receive?
Much worse.
So far they've mostly been better.
Back and forth, I guess.
Always better.
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Which white elephant gift will put you in a crabby mood?
A half-eaten something.
An item I have no use for.
An item for the opposite sex.
Something way more expensive than what I bought.
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Who is the worst white elephant giver you know?
A sibling.
A parent or grand parent.
A friend.
A work colleague.
How would you describe the person who invented the white elephant gift exchange?
The worst kind of person ever.
Someone who enjoys making people laugh.
Someone who made up a game because they didn't have enough money to buy a present.
It was probably a greeting card company.
Which Scrooge ghost does your white elephant represent?
Ghost of white elephant past.
Ghost of white elephant future.
Ghost of white elephant - right now.
Ghost of white elephant never to come.
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