Take This Numerology Test and We'll Guess What Kind of Lover You Are

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Take This Numerology Test and We'll Guess What Kind of Lover You Are
Image: Wenjie Dong / E+ / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Human beings are wired to see patterns. We inherited this from our ancestors, to whom the ability to recognize the difference between tall grass and a lion was an essential survival skill. It took humans thousands of years to conceptualize mathematics, and the discipline fit neatly into our ability to see patterns because math is full of patterns. Our ability to see patterns and predict outcomes from those patterns is the reason we figured out math ahead of cats, who will one day and take over the world.

When you give all patterns equal weight, it's easy to make the switch from mathematics as pure science to numerology. Numbers have a purity about them, and when you notice something like the Fibonacci Sequence, it's not far to jump to using the Atbash Cipher to decode "predictions" from the Hebrew Bible. Numerology has been applied in countless ways from just about every culture in the world, and even a lot of modern metrics for determining insights about people, from social media algorithms that try to predict how to advertise to people by measuring how long they look at photos of friends, to word clouds that attempt insights about public opinion by the prevalence of certain nouns. We even have our own numerology test. Take it, and we'll guess what kind of lover you are!

How many people have you told that you love them?
None yet
3, 4 ... I've lost count.
1
2
How many children would you like to have one day?
2.5
I'd like it to be equal to the combined Kinsey rating of me and my partner.
0
1... 5 ... I don't care.
How many vowels are there in your first name?
3
1
4+
2

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How many sexual partners do you think is a good number to have in one's lifetime?
2 or 3
12
There is no right number.
More than 20
At what age did you hit puberty?
13
11
16
9
Which of these years would best suit your tastes in the way people date?
1962
1997
1988
2007

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How many years older than you was the first person you were with?
0
1
I don't know.
2+
How many hard consonants were there in the name of that one teacher you had in high school who you thought had it going on?
4
1
3
2
How many people were in the place where you lost your virginity the day (or night) it happened?
None. It was just us.
4, because we weren't alone in the house.
I don't know. We were too involved in a game.
I don't know ... how many people fit on a Boeing 777?

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What was the longest period you went without dating anyone in your adult life?
4 years
6 months
1 year
A week
What is the largest number of people you've dated at the same time?
1
2 ... I'm not proud, though.
Dated? As in, a committed relationship? 0.
I think ... 6? 7? 15?
How many times have you tried turning a friend into a lover?
0
3
4+
2

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At what point do you think the number of divorces a prospective partner has been through becomes a problem?
2. Fool me once, shame on me ...
It depends on the person.
5. That's when it really becomes a sign of something deeper.
Even 1 is a little scary.
How many years were your parents together before they had you?
3
15
0
6
How many children do you have right now?
1
0
2. Shhhh!
3+

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On what floor is your bedroom, assuming that the ground floor is the first floor?
2
3
The basement
1
Assuming you are single, how many nights a week do you go out looking to pick someone up?
1
2
0. I don't have to go out for that.
5
How many times have you gotten scary health news from an ex-lover?
0
3+
2
1

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At what age did you feel like you finally understood yourself as a sexual being?
I never have. It's a sin!
I think as soon as I understood what sex was
When I was 30
When I was just 22
How many sexual partners have you had so far?
I'm not telling anyone!
I don't keep track, but it's enough that if I did, I'd have to write it down.
Exactly 20
No more than 6
About how many minutes does it take you to get ready for a date?
45
10
20
60

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How many months was your longest relationship?
12
18 or more
1
6
How many dates do you insist on before getting it on with a lover?
3. What do you take me for?
1. Sometimes I just know.
2. We have paperwork to do, at the very least.
Who needs any dates for that?
How old were you the first time you had a good partner?
There are differences? What?!
23
29
33

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Forget about "cool tattoos" for a second. How many sexy tattoos do you have?
0
2, but one is actually a logo.
1, but I can't describe it to you ...
3, all of them animal themed.
Approximately how much money did you spend on your last mattress?
$700. I'm not getting ripped off!
$1800. Hey, I spend a lot of time on that thing.
$500. The only thing I need it for is sleeping. I have a Saint Andrew's Cross for everything else.
$1000. I got a Tempur knock off.
How many years separated you from the age of the last person you dated?
4
I couldn't tell.
15, but we're both old souls.
20, because we both wanted to try something crazy!

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Which of these numbers is closest to the number of letters of the name of the street you grew up on?
8
2 It was a number with "st" or "th" at the end.
12
5
At what age did you lose your virginity?
21
24
25
22
How many times have your ex-lovers turned into true friends?
Ha! Never.
Once, but only for a while
Loads of times. I can't even count the number.
Twice

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You Got: