Tell Us Your Valentine's Day Plans and We'll Guess How Many People You've Slept With

By: Raj Chander
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Tell Us Your Valentine's Day Plans and We'll Guess How Many People You've Slept With
Image: AleksandarNakic/E+/GettyImages

About This Quiz

Single people dread it, jewelry stores love it, and many guys think it's just another holiday invented to get them to spend money (spoiler alert: it is).

Whatever your stance on Valentine's Day, you can't deny that it's the main holiday for romance and love. How we express love is different for everyone - last year, for example, Americans spent a quarter of a billion dollars on Valentine's Day gift for their pets. 

But most people hope for a specific kind of connection: One that involves, as the great Elvis Presley once put it, "A little less conversation, a little more action." 

How often do you knock boots? It depends on what type of person you are, how you view relationships, and how strong of an instinct you feel to procreate. One thing's for certain: Whether you're in a committed relationship or plan on hitting your town's local hotspot, it's a lot easier to do the deed on Valentine's Day - especially if you and your boo have plans for a romantic evening.

We bet if you tell us some information about your ideal plans for Valentine's Day, we can guess your number - the real one, not the one you told your in-laws. 

How many relationships have you been in?
Just one, in middle school.
Three serious, long-term relationships.
Five official, and three that were more like friends with benefits.
I lost count after 15.
What did you do last Valentine's Day?
Me and the person I was dating at the time went to an underground punk show and fooled around after.
Went to dinner with my mom.
I forgot their name...
Dinner and a movie with my then-significant-other.
Which kind of restaurant would be best for a Valentine's Day date?
Takeout.
A new fusion spot or dinner and a murder show.
Italian.
Wherever my date wants to go.

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What's your favorite meal to cook for Valentine's Day?
Breakfast food.
I've never actually cooked one, but I'd probably do something classic like spaghetti & meatballs.
Warming up a ready-to-cook meal: I need instant gratification.
A classic partner-cooking dish like chicken parmesan or chili.
Which of these artists would most get you "in the mood"?
Kelly Clarkson.
The Weeknd.
Usher.
Nine Inch Nails.
How long should a session in the bedroom last?
Anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes, depending on how much time I have.
At least an hour.
10 minutes.
At least a few minutes, I hope.

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What is your most attractive feature?
I'm naturally confident and charismatic.
My parents tell me I'm cute!
I have a great smile.
I'm loyal.
What do you look for in a Valentine's Day date?
A great personality with a nice butt.
Someone who wants something serious.
Physical connection.
For them to be the perfect match who I can live happily ever after with...some day.
What's the perfect Valentine's Day gift?
Paying for the Uber the morning after.
Roses.
A gift certificate to go skydiving.
Chocolates with a funny greeting card about our relationship.

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How many places should you visit on a date?
Three or four, to keep things interesting.
Do we need to leave the bedroom?
One or two maximum.
Just one so I can spend more time with my future partner, since they will be so perfect!
What do you drink on a Valentine's Day date?
An Old Fashioned.
Diet Coke.
Tequila straight.
Whichever wine the waiter recommends.
What are you watching on Netflix for Valentine's Day?
Orange is The New Black.
Gossip Girl.
Fuller House.
Making a Murderer.

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What's your hairstyle?
Dyed blonde or another loud color.
I put a little gel or mousse in it to make it look nice.
Whatever it decides to do in the morning.
Straight and traditional.
Which bed do you sleep in at the end of Valentine's Day?
I probably won't even remember the name of the person who owns it.
One day it'll be my dream sweetie's...but for now, the one at my parents' house.
Whoever I'm dating at the time.
My partner's.
What happens the morning after Valentine's Day?
Nothing special, it's a regular day.
I'm probably trying to shake off a hangover.
I'm either having breakfast with my significant other or alone wishing I had someone to be with.
I'm doing something cultural like visiting a museum, either alone or with my date.

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What's your ideal Valentine's Day outfit?
The shirt that you feel most confident in.
Something formal like a suit or evening dress.
It doesn't really matter - I'm either alone or with my significant other.
Whatever I look sexiest in.
What are you and your valentine discussing on your Valentine's Day date?
Purchasing a new comforter set.
Literature, history, or politics.
The physical attraction is so strong that it's honestly hard to remember.
How great our lives together are going to be.
What kind of flowers do you want for Valentine's Day?
Orchids.
A dozen roses.
Daisies.
Whatever they have at the supermarket is fine.

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What's your favorite sport?
MMA.
Football.
Not really into them - that LeBron guy seems nice, though.
Tennis.
Which of these bands is your favorite?
Creed.
U2.
Modest Mouse.
The Sex Pistols.
What's your pet name for your Valentine?
Lover.
Slave.
My love.
Babe.

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If you were single and wanted to find a Valentine's Day date, where would you go?
A dating website.
A bar or club.
I don't need to go anywhere: when the time is right, they'll find me.
Tinder.
What's your Valentine's Day dessert?
Scotch.
A fudge sundae.
Tres leches cake.
Brownies.
Which is your favorite celebrity couple?
John Lennon & Yoko Ono.
Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore.
Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively.
Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick.

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What kind of jewelry do you want for Valentine's Day?
A traditional gold bracelet.
A necklace.
An engraved earring.
An eyebrow ring.
Which is your favorite love story?
Romeo & Juliet.
Don Juan.
Cinderella and Prince Charming.
Shrek.
Which instrument should your date serenade you with?
Piano.
Their voice.
Cello.
Guitar.

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Where's the most romantic place for a Valentine's Day date?
A fancy restaurant.
The couch.
A new bed.
An art gallery opening.
Which dating app are you using to find your Valentine?
Tinder.
Hinge.
Bumble.
Match.
What kind of ride are you taking to your Valentine's Day date?
A Lamborghini.
An Uber.
A romantic horse & carriage.
A classic muscle car.

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You Got: