What Kind of Medieval Warrior Are You?

By: Mark Lichtenstein
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
What Kind of Medieval Warrior Are You?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

In reading stories of the warriors of the Middle Ages, we often find ourselves relating strongly to one type or the other. Some warriors were professional soldiers, prized for their specialist expertise. Others were conscripted by the state, trained to be cannon fodder. Stories of these men and women evolved into legends and legends into myths.

Medieval armies were a lot more complicated than most people imagine. They evolved over the centuries, incorporating new and interesting weaponry, tactics, and numbers of soldiers. Larger battlefield hand weapons like polearms meant fewer people could fill a battlefield, which affected the ground chosen by armies as battlegrounds. Weapons of a period determined the architecture of fortresses and the duties of soldiers.

Do you think you could bear slogging hundreds of miles through the muck in a pair of medieval boots? Could you stand in line with other soldiers almost sure to be skewered by thousands of arrows? Would you be willing to bake in a suit of armor while riding to the Holy Land? Would you be willing to take a life, not for justice or a higher ideal, but for a monarch ordained by God to rule you and your family? What medieval warrior would you be? Let's find out!

What do you think of when you imagine a catapult?
Obnoxious overkill
Clean, technical perfection
Joyless machinery
Horrifying destruction
How good are you at using complex technology?
I like it technical, but intuitive.
I'm good with it.
I leave technology to the little people.
I'm terrible with technology.
How disciplined are you about practice?
My discipline is peerless.
I practice enough not to mess up, and no more.
I'll train every day.
I'll train as much as I'm paid to.

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How physically tough are you?
Not in the face!
I'm not tough at all.
I can take a tumble and get up.
I'm bulletproof.
How still can you keep your hands in the heat of battle?
As still as the grave
I'll be fine as long as I'm not too close to the action.
I need to keep moving to keep steady.
My hands shake a lot.
What do you think of when you imagine an ax?
A camping tool
A carpentry tool
An inelegant weapon
A perfect weapon

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How good are you at fixing things?
I can mend simple tools.
I can fix machines easily.
I leave that to the little people.
I can sew on a button if I need to.
How good are you with animals?
I'm good at shooting them.
I have a few pets.
I have a strong connection to animals.
I have no special feelings towards animals.
How well off are you, financially?
I've got a home and a job.
I work in a technical job where my skills are well compensated.
I'm really rich.
I'm dirt poor.

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How likely are you to fight for something other than a higher cause?
I'll fight when I have no other choice.
I'll fight if I get a cut of the spoils.
I'll fight for any reason that pleases me.
I'll fight because it's what I do for a living.
How good are you at following ridiculous orders?
Not very good
Terrible
I give ridiculous orders!
I'll follow any orders, no matter how silly.
How sneaky are you?
My sneakiness is ninja-like.
I'm totally unsubtle.
I'll happily stab someone in the back, kick them when they're down, and make fun of them at their funeral.
I prefer to be upfront about my intentions.

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How cerebral are you?
Not very
I like to put a lot of thought into simple things.
Very
Not even a little
How much of a glory hound are you?
I don't worry about glory. My actions speak for themselves.
I don't need glory at all.
I'm a total glory hound.
I'm in the game to play, not to get trophies.
How opportunistic are you?
I will use every advantage to my advantage.
I don't always see opportunities when they come up.
Opportunism in war is fair play.
Fair play isn't a thing.

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What do you think of when you imagine a bow and arrow?
Poetry
A child's toy
Busywork for the little people
Cheating dirty bastards
How good a leader are you?
I'm good on a team.
I'm decent with big picture decisions.
I'm the best leader. My mother says so.
I take orders, I don't give them.
Are you a man or woman of the people?
I'm a slightly more elite than most of the people.
I'm much better educated than most of the people.
You mean the peasantry? Pah!
Very much so.

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How strong is your right arm?
It's ridiculously strong, like a bodybuilder.
Strong enough to work.
No stronger than my left.
My triceps are huge.
Are you willing to work late hours?
No, I'd rather work morning shifts.
I'll do any shift any time, with overtime.
I'll only work in the afternoon.
I'll work late, but you have to give me combat pay.
How expensive are your threads?
They're not expensive.
They're cheap.
They are very expensive.
They are knock-offs of expensive clothing.

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Do you own land?
I own my house.
I have a small property.
I own tons of land.
I'm a renter.
How many languages do you speak?
I speak one well, and a second one a little.
I speak a couple.
More than three
I barely speak one.
What do you think of when you imagine a sword?
Fancy nonsense
Frightening butchery tools
Clean, smooth perfection
Luxury items

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How do you pack for trips?
I pack light.
I always have to bring a ton of stuff, but I usually have some companions to spread out the load.
I bring lots of gear, but I have people for that.
Have gun, will travel.
Would you need servants with you when you travel?
No, I like to go it alone.
I'd probably be one of the servants.
Yes, of course! What do you take me for? A barbarian?
No, I'm a man of the people.
How close are you with powerful people?
I'm about a hundred yards from them.
A stone's throw away.
I am powerful people.
I'm about as far as you can get form them, but then you never know who you might run into.

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Would you like to be a professional soldier?
No, but I'll do it if my country calls on me.
I've got some very specialist skills... it's a temptation.
I'll part-time it.
I will gladly make a profession of it.
What are the most dangerous odds you deem acceptable?
30% chance of death.
15% chance of death.
5% chance of death.
70% chance of death.
Would you be willing to be a reservist?
I think that's all I'd be willing to do.
Yes, so long as those same skills have a peacetime application.
Yes, if I get some land out of it.
I'd rather be a mercenary.

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