What Kind of Horse Lover Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
What Kind of Horse Lover Are You?
Image: vm/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

While dogs may have acquired the moniker of man's best friend, it would be a pretty limited existence that only contained a single best friend. There is space in the human heart to love and cherish more than one essential companion, co-worker, friend, and rescuer. 

Humanity appears to have figured this out more than ten thousand years ago, when we first began domesticating horses. These intelligent and beautiful animals were first brought into our lives in a formal way in the Caucausus, and they soon enabled civilizations they touched to flourish in ways that were not previously possible. A man might plough a garden in a day; a horse can help him to plough an field. An explorer might climb a mountain, but a horse will bring him to the far side of the range. A hunter could pursue small prey on foot, but a horse means he or she can pursue larger game far more safely and effectively.

Nowadays, horses are mostly our friends in competition and leisure. Whether it's hacking out to enjoy the scenery from mountain to beach and back, or competing at anything from dressage to scurry driving to steeplechasing to flat-racing, horses are our beloved companions. Of course, everyone relates to them in a different way—so tell us a bit about you and we'll figure out what sort of horse lover you truly are!

How many horses is too many?
25 or so is the most you can really focus on
More than two.
No amount if they're making money.
More than one, really.
What counts as an expensive horse, to you?
Over 50K
Over 10K
Over 100K
Over 3K
How tall is the biggest horse you've ever owned?
18'2
14'
17'2
I'm not sure.

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Are you on first name terms with any blacksmiths?
Yes, three
Nope
Just one
I don't think I've ever met a blacksmith
Do you know how horses get laminitis?
Eating too much rich grass.
Eating too much food generally.
Eating too many greens.
Their lamin is infected.
Could you pick out a horse's hoof if you had to?
Easily, yes.
If the horse cooperated.
Yes, though my back might resent it.
I did once, it was cool!

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Could you re-shoe a horse?
Sure!
I could help.
I could tell when it is necessary.
Nope!
Do you know how to tell a horse's age?
Yes, to within a couple years.
I know you look at the teeth.
Yes, to within 5 years.
No idea.
Can you do an Arabian braid?
Of course, I can do all the braids.
Yes, it's not very good though.
Just about.
What is that?

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What do you do before you walk behind a horse you don't know well?
Stroke its side and talk to it, so it knows I'm there.
Ask the owner what sort of horse it is.
Give it a wide berth.
Nothing in particular.
When feeding a carrot to a horse, what do you do with your hand?
Hold the carrot up in my fist.
Flat hand, thumb in.
Stick the carrot in then pull my hand away.
No idea!
Have you ever taught a horse a skill like dressage?
Of course, all the time.
No, they help teach me!
I've seen it done.
Alas no.

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What horsey prizes have you won?
All of them.
Lots of gymkhana prizes.
Racing cups.
None!
What horsey sport do you love most?
Eventing
Gymkhana
Racing and polo
Dancing horses!
Where do you live?
Countryside
Small town
'Burbs
Big city

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What career do you have?
Horse professional
Marketing
Finance
Arts
Does your relationship with horses affect your love life at all?
Yes, I married a horse professional.
Yes, I delayed dating by about 10 years because horses were my true love.
Yes, my boo thinks I spend too much money on it.
No.
How many of your friends own horses?
Half
A quarter
All of them
None

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What's the worst injury you've ever had from a horse?
Concussion
Bruises
Broken bone
Hurt pride
Have you ever been bitten by a horse?
Yes, but no horse tries that nonsense more than once.
Yes, I cried for a week.
Yes. I punched it.
No, that sounds awful!
Have you ever had to discipline a horse?
Yes, daily.
Yes, but I failed.
A few times.
How would you even try? It's 800 lbs!

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What is the best smell in the world?
Feed room
Hay
Soapy leather
Cut grass
What is a horse walker?
A big carousel thing that horses go in to return from injury.
A person who walks your horse.
A horse that walks really fast.
I have no idea.
Who else would you trust with your horse?
My underlings.
My parents.
My manager.
Any seemingly trustworthy person who said they had a clue

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What does a horse have to do before you buy it?
Pass the vet.
Be my friend!
Produce a reliable pedigree.
Be less than $200 and come with its own stable.
Have you ever made a profit on a horse?
Technically, many times.
LOL no.
Yes, just once. It was amazing.
I placed a bet once that paid off but it didn't cover all my other bets, so no.
Did you ever have a horse that you didn't personally pay for?
Yes, a few!
Just one.
I wish.
No, alas.

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What do you love most about horses?
They are friendly.
They are strong.
They are clever.
They are beautiful.
What funny thing do horses do that always makes you giggle?
Whickering sound
Being scared of things for no reason
Stamping their foot
Neighing
What is your favorite item to use in grooming?
Dandy brush
Body brush
Hose!
Comb

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You Got: