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About This Quiz
The 2000s brought us a special gift: metrosexuals. Well-groomed men who weren't afraid to drop dollars on their appearance, they enticed other singles with their thoughtful colognes, slim-cut pants and shiny, well-gelled hair. But the 2010s have brought us a new type of hunk: the lumbersexual. With their rough beards, callused hands and wool shirts, these strong, manly men have an appeal that works in direct opposition to the more urbane attraction of metrosexual types, a throwback to classic masculine standards of beauty.
Sensing a trend, Hollywood has seen fit to provide us with lumbersexual stars like Joe Manganiello and Channing Tatum, while the fashion world has jumped on the lumbersexual train by putting flannel shirts on the runways and beard oil on supermarket shelves.Â
Many men find the lumbersexual look easier to achieve than the more sophisticated metrosexual style. From sunny Florida to the streets of New York City, guys who have never wielded an ax before in their lives are suddenly dressed for a full day of lumberjacking. Are you one of them? Or do you dress like that because you're a park ranger? Take this quiz to find out whether you're a real lumbersexual or a just an IT manager with a luxuriant beard!
Do you live in the Pacific Northwest?
No. I live in the rural South.
No, but I'm from the upper Midwest.
Born and bred Connecticut, baby!
Yes. I live in Idaho, Oregon, Washington or Alaska.
How mighty is your beard?
It's more of a scruff ...
It's patchy in places, but I'm confident it will grow in.
I don't have a dumb beard.
My beard is more bae than Paul Bunyan's.
You're stranded in the wilderness. Do you know how to forage for food?
Not really. I'm not sure which berries and mushrooms are poisonous and which are fine.
I know how to fish a bit.
By "the wilderness," do you mean "the suburbs"?
Actually, I already get all my food via foraging.
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Were someone to describe you as "rugged," would you be surprised?
Kind of? I've got nice arms but am not exactly Ron Swanson.
Nah. I've got the beard and the bod for it.
Yes. I'm exquisitely handsome, not rugged!
Open up the dictionary and look up "rugged." You'll find a picture of my face.
What kind of shoes are you wearing right now?
Leather desert boots
Keen hiking boots
Cole Haan wingtips
Timberlands
How many tattoos do you have?
One or two
Full tattoo sleeves on both arms
None
You'll have to peel off my flannel to find out!
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While vacationing in a Canadian cabin, your girlfriend asks you to "split some kindling." Do you know what this is, and how to do it?
I think it means, "cutting a log into small slivers so it can be used to start a fire." Unfortunately, I'm afraid of axes.
I know how to split kindling, although I prefer to just use kindling I bought at the store.
I don't know what that is and I won't do it.
Of course I know how to split kindling. What am I, a child?
You've had a rough week at work. What kind of drink will you be treating yourself to when you get home?
A glass of red wine
A delicious craft beer
Grapefruit La Croix
Macallan whiskey
Would you be happy living in New York City?
Maybe. It would depend on whether I had a good job.
Probably not, unless I lived in Brooklyn and could raise chickens.
NYC is my dream city!
It's too big, too loud and doesn't have enough trees.
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Your favorite flannel is torn and you need a new one. Where will you be shopping?
H&M
Eddie Bauer
Ew, nowhere! I hate flannel.
The army navy store
Can you drive a stick shift?
Erm, it's been a while ...
Yes, although I don't love using a stick on hilly roads.
Sorry, I don't drive.
I would NEVER drive an automatic.
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Your best friend wants to start a craft brewing company with you. What do you tell her?
"Hmm, money's tight right now, but I can't wait to go to your grand opening."
"Sure, I'd love to craft some fine ales."
"Sorry, but beer is too high-calorie for me."
"Sorry, but I already have a craft brewing company of my own."
Do you know how to remove ticks?
Nope! I went to the doctor the last time I had one.
Yes. You need rubbing alcohol and tweezers.
Never had a tick, never had to remove one.
Usually I just rip them out with my bare hands.
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It's dinner time! What will you be dining on tonight?
A burrito
A hearty stew
Champagne and caviar
Elk steaks, dandelion greens salad and homemade bread
Do you like dive bars?
They can be a little scary.
I love dive bars; they're a little slice of Americana.
Why would I go to a lousy bar on purpose?
Stop calling my favorite bar a dive!
You're trapped outdoors in a snowstorm. Do you know how to start a fire?
No, but I could probably look it up on my phone.
That wouldn't happen to me; I always carry a Zippo lighter and fire materials with me.
As if I'd go outside in a snowstorm!
I can start a fire using just two wet twigs.
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Have you ever built something?
Does IKEA count?
I've built tables before.
No. I'm not a freakin' pioneer.
I built my own house out of logs and antique nails.
What's your ideal date?
Strolling through the park
Berry-picking then having a picnic
Seeing an award-winning film
Fishing at 4 a.m. on a remote lake
Check your fridge. How many of the items in it are organic?
Hmm. My mustard is organic!
My eggs and vegetables are organic, but nothing else is.
Nothing. Deal with it!
I'm so lumbersexual I don't have a fridge; I keep all my food in a cool, dark pantry.
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Who's your favorite lumbersexual icon?
Ryan Reynolds
Most of those Hemsworth brothers
Kristen Stewart
Luke from "Gilmore Girls," hands-down
Do you think you could fight a bear?
No, that would be crazy!
Maybe, if I had a shotgun.
Absolutely not!
I could, but I wouldn't, because I love nature.
Have you ever been to Alaska?
No, but I'd love to go.
I once worked at a salmon cannery in Fairbanks.
Girl, no.
Alaska is my favorite place on earth; I go there as often as I can.
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How do you feel about big, smelly dogs?
I like petting them but wouldn't want one in my apartment.
Love 'em; I actually have two!
I prefer tiny, adorable puppies.
My Huskies go with me everywhere.
If someone called you a "mountain man," would you be insulted?
No, that sounds kind of cool.
No, that's exactly what I'm going for?
Yes. I am a city man, not some messy mountain giant.
Well, I am a man, and I do come from the mountains ...
Do you know how to use a tractor?
No, but how hard can it be?
I drove one in the summer as a teen but haven't used on in a while.
Heck no!
I used a tractor to till my land this morning.
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Which of these John Muir quotes resonates most with you?
"Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world."
"Keep close to Nature’s heart ... and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean."
"The power of imagination makes us infinite."
"The mountains are calling and I must go."
Would you rather camp in the Sierras or go to a VIP party at Bradley Cooper's house?
Bradley Cooper's. I can camp any time!
It'd be hard, but I'd choose the Sierras. I love that part of the country.
"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Cooper!"
The Sierras. I didn't even like "A Star is Born."
What's the secret ingredient that makes your pancakes so good?
Sour cream
Buttermilk
IDK, salt?
Buckwheat flour
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You Got: