What Superhero Are You Sexually Compatible With?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
What Superhero Are You Sexually Compatible With?
Image: Marvel Studios

About This Quiz

Superheroes became a hot commodity around the year 2000, when special effects finally got good enough to depict them on screen. Before then, superheroes were confined to the pages of comic books, ancient TV shows like The Incredible Hulk, and animated shows like Batman Beyond. Once the new generation of computer graphics became practical, as demonstrated by Spider-Man in 2002, the genre of the superhero movie came into its own.

All major comic books companies have made movies about their superhero properties, from Image Comics' Spawn to DC's Superman to Disney's Marvel Cinematic Universe. Since this began, we've had a much clearer picture of who the superheroes are as people. Personality is the most attractive part of any person, and when it comes to superheroes, most of their major qualities are the same. All superheroes are in degrees of excellent shape. All superheroes have a cool party trick, and at least a one-liner or two. Just about the only thing that helps us differentiate between them is that not all superheroes yet have movies.

You may think you have a type, but does that extend to people who are definitively one-of-a-kind? Would you be willing to sacrifice your lifestyle to be with a boo who fights crime? Would the sex be worth it? Take this quiz and find out with which superhero you're sexually compatible!

Which of the Avengers has the best powers?
Black Widow
Spider-Man, even though he's only sort of an Avenger
Thor
Iron-Man
How do you feel about virginal partners?
There's nothing hotter than that.
I would rather they be a little less experienced than me.
I would rather they have way more experience than me.
I don't care either way.
Who is the hottest of the X-Men?
Cyclops
Beast
Colossus
Wolverine

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How "up for it" are you when a partner floats trying something you've never tried?
Not at all
Totally
Mostly
It depends on my mood
What do you think of Tony Stark?
Too arrogant and selfish
Smart, but too interested in applied sciences
He shows off too much.
He's too happy to be cool.
How do you feel about being in the passenger seat?
Nope. No way!
Forget the passenger seat! I want to be in the trunk!
I like the sound of that. Does it have a racing harness, or just a regular seat belt?
I'd rather take turns.

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Which was the best Spider-Man title?
The Amazing Spider-Man
Web of Spider-Man
Peter Parker The Spectacular Spider-Man
Spider-Man
How important is it that you have a real emotional connection with your partners?
That is the most important thing to me.
It's not that important to me.
It's somewhat important to me.
It's important that I have zero connection!
What's the best setting for the final battle of a superhero movie?
A flying aircraft carrier
A burning castle
The streets of a major American city
A cathedral's belfry

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Where do you fit in your employer's pecking order?
I'm at the very bottom.
I'm near, but not at, the top.
I'm at the very top.
I'm in the middle of it.
Is age important to you?
Not at all!
A little distinction isn't a bad thing.
I'd rather they not be ancient.
I like someone with a little experience.
How has your style of kink changed over time?
I'm more aggressive than I was.
I only get freakier with every passing year.
I've become a lot less inhibited about asking for what I want.
I've become very obsessed with a specific situation.

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How important is it that your partner be creative?
Not at all. I want zero creativity.
They should be very creative, but they needn't be a genius.
I don't mind if they aren't creative so long as they are consistent.
Yes, they have to be super creative.
How do you like your lovers' physiques?
Really athletic, but not freaky
Really skinny
I want them to be much, much stronger than me.
Strong, but damaged
In which place would you most like to live with your partner?
Washington, D.C.
New York
I'd rather stay on the move.
Chicago

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How do you like to dress for playing around with your partners?
I wear something that wipes clean.
I'll wear anything I'm told to.
I don't wear anything at all.
I wear a full costume, including footwear.
Do you mind if your lover isn't "on" all the time?
I don't mind at all.
They need to be on 24/7 in order for me to be happy.
Given what I have in mind, they'll have to take some time off.
They should be on most of the time we're together.
How virtuous do you like your lovers?
I want them to be the height of morality.
Fairly virtuous. Safe hands and all that.
Virtuous at heart, but dangerous in demeanor.
I like rule breakers.

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How much are your lovers your opposite number?
Totally
Only in certain respects. We're pretty similar in many ways.
In some ways, but in others they are not opposite so much as just very random numbers.
We're the same.
How difficult are the physical acts you have planned?
Not at all difficult
Extraordinarily difficult
I don't want to plan anything.
Harder on the mind than the body
Knowing who has ignited your passion in the past, would you be willing to be seen in public with someone who totally and completely satisfied you?
Yes, of course!
In certain social situations, yes
No, not at all
Most of the time, I'd be fine with it.

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How important to you is the quality and amount of dialogue while playing?
A lot, but the quality needn't be good
No dialogue, please!
Very little dialogue, but the quality must be good
Some dialogue, and it needs to be excellent
How important to you is the wealth of a romantic partner?
Not that important
Fairly important
Totally unimportant
Really important
When playtime reaches its end, what should happen next?
Cuddling
Sleeping
A meal
I get in a cab and go home.

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What sort of friends are you willing to tolerate from a lover?
Goody two-shoes
Arrogant colleagues
Loser intellectuals
People who are paid to be friends
If you got your hands on The Infinity Gauntlet, what would you do with it?
Rid the world of tyrants
Discover the deepest secrets of science
Empower guardians of the planet
Make money, literally
What strength are you willing to cede to a partner?
The moral high ground
Brains
Brawn
Status

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Which of the X-Men should leave the band and start a solo career?
Cyclops
Nightcrawler
Wolverine
Beast
Which lifestyle would you be willing to tolerate?
Working for the state
Space travel
Living as a vagabond
Seeing very little of my partner due to work
Which kind of superheroes do you prefer, the DC kind who are meant to be less like real people and more like archetypes of gods, or the Marvel variety, who are meant to be more like regular people?
I prefer the DC kind a little bit.
I'm all in on Marvel.
I prefer Marvel a bit.
I greatly prefer the DC kind.

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