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About This Quiz
We are pretty sure that Shakespeare would have worked Taco Bell into something if it were around in Elizabethan England. Taco Bell is one of those cultural touchstones that has lasted so long because it has powerful branding. Branding is about expressing an idea clearly, appealingly and in a memorable way. Taco Bell's branding, and the branding of its menu items, is so strong that we can look at the menu and see more than foods with calorie counts on par with the national debt; we see ourselves reflected in the sheen of oil on the ground beef and shredded cheese.
Much like how people see themselves and their friends in the personalities of dogs and cats, we see relationships in fast food combo menus. Forget about the dollar menu, as that is a metaphor for the executive functions of politicians. Focus on the combos. We think we can peg you and your significant other to one combo item on the Taco Bell menu. Sure, we could have gone with Chik-fil-A, or In-N-Out Burger, but we have an irrational fear of hyphens.
So are you ready to be reduced to a heap of fried gluten, microwaved vegetables and grilled animal products? Is your loved one? Well, you'd better be! Now, on to the quiz!
Who is in charge of your finances?
I am! I know a lot about that stuff.
We take turns.
My SO handles them.
We both take 100% responsibility for them.
What bad habit is your SO's secret?
They leave the bathroom sink full of hair.
They never clean the shower.
They sometimes wear the same underwear for two days in a row.
They leave a mess on the floor of the car.
How would you describe the pressures on your relationship that come from your friends?
My friends want me to spend time with them, not my SO.
They think we're antisocial.
They are actively trying to split us up.
They've given up trying to change us.
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Do you and your SO share a common mother tongue?
Yes, absolutely.
No, but we both learned English as a second language.
No! And my SO barely speaks any English!
No, and we never speak to each other in English.
How long have the two of you been together?
Since high school
Since our late 20s
We met a week ago!
We've been together since college.
How laid back is your SO?
Very laid back
Fairly laid back
Not at all laid back
About as laid back as I am
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How similar are you and your partner's tastes?
They differ, but they are compatible.
Very similar, but not the same.
They are wildly different, and you know what? That's OK!
They are the same. We are the same.
Which of these best describes how your job differs from your SO's job?
I have a high-powered job. My SO stays at home.
We have more or less the same sort of job, at different companies.
My SO has a high-level executive job and I'm a worker bee.
We work together at the same tier of our employer.
How would your friends describe your relationship when you aren't around?
They say we're like one of those photos that comes with a new wallet.
They'd think something is going on that we're not talking about.
They'd say there's no way we're going to work out.
Codependent
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How does your workplace reputation differ from that of your SO?
I'm seen as a hardass. My SO is seen as a softy.
I'm the brainy one, and my SO is the hard worker.
I have no idea what my SO's rep is.
We are seen as a single unit.
How does your sartorial style differ from that of your SO?
I wear clothing that conveys power. My SO just wants to be comfy.
We dress in similar ways, but my SO is more gender-conforming in their style.
I dress in casual classics, and my SO is on the bleeding edge of fashion.
We wear much of the same clothing.
What's your morning usually like?
I get up before dawn, make some coffee or tea for my SO, and get out the door to work.
We have separate bathrooms, but do the rest together.
I'm asleep when my SO is out the door.
We get up together, brush our teeth side by side, read the paper together and commute together.
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Who remembers dates?
My SO does.
We each remember different ones, like the wedding vs. the first date.
Neither of us remembers them.
We both remember them.
How do you arrange for trips together?
I make all the logistics.
We do the research in turns.
My SO does all the planning.
We plan everything together, as one.
Where do you and your SO spend the holidays?
We spend them with my SO's family.
We spend them together, and have our in-laws visit us.
We go to my family.
We go away together.
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Do you and your SO think you'll make it official one day?
We made it official years ago.
We might.
We made it official last week!
Marriage is just a piece of paper, man!
How would you describe the pressures on your relationship that come from your families?
They think I work too hard.
They think we need to be more ambitious.
They don't understand why we're together at all.
They think we need to be more comfortable apart, or as they would put it "less sickeningly in love".
What are the religious differences between you and your SO?
My SO converted to my religion.
We are members of different sects of the same religion.
We don't practice the same religion, and that's fine.
We are of the same religion.
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How often do you and your SO argue?
Once every couple months
Once a year
About every other day
Never
What do you and your SO usually fight over?
Dinner
Movies
I don't know, we don't really speak the same language and my SO speaks so fast!
Which spoon is for dessert
What hobby does your SO have that you just don't understand?
Scrap booking
Journaling
Some sort of occult thing. I don't know what it is.
There is nothing that comes to mind.
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What friends of your SO don't you approve of?
Their single friends
Their exes
Their friends who I can't speak to because we don't have a common language.
None come to mind.
What do you do that your SO hopes you will grow out of?
I haven't been told of anything.
My D&D club
My MMA hobby
Nothing. I've asked.
What item did your SO make you get rid of when you moved in together?
My recliner
My couch
Everything
Just my nightstand
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How do you get on with your SO's family?
They respect me.
We really like each other.
They just stare at me and murmur a word I've come to understand means "outsider" or "traitor", I think.
We love each other.
How do you and your SO's salaries compare?
I make way more money.
We make the same money.
My SO makes way more money.
It varies, based on the year.
When someone wants something from the two of you, who they usually approach first?
My SO. My SO is a softy and more likely to give in.
Me, unless it's a friend of my SO's.
Me, usually. I don't know why! I don't have any power!
Whoever is available
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Who does most of the driving, you or your SO?
I do all the driving. I'm a great driver.
Neither of us has to drive.
My SO does all the driving.
We take turns.
How does your SO get on with your family?
They love my SO, but they do not fear my SO.
They seem friendly.
My family hates my SO.
My family and my SO get on like a dream.
What did you ask your SO to change about their lifestyle when you moved in together?
Don't give me any lip about money.
Please stop being friends with your exes. It freaks me out.
Please stop snoring.
Nothing
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You Got: