What Would Your Job Be on a Spaceship?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
What Would Your Job Be on a Spaceship?
Image: Wiki Commons by NASA

About This Quiz

Since the first days of American space travel, astronauts have come from a rarefied group. On one hand, most of them were ex-military—pilots and the sort. On the other hand, they all possessed advanced degrees in the sciences needed for the missions to which they were assigned. This is all for good reason. If someone flying an airplane encounters a problem, they can probably find a place to land and get it repaired, and failing that, they can at least bail out and survive. Space travel is another matter altogether. In space, if something goes wrong on a ship, the people on the ship must fix it themselves or else go up the proverbial river without a paddle. Any clashing personalities will produce genuine problems, because being locked in a confined space with people you don't like will put differences into stark relief.

As space travel moves into the future, our technology only gets more complex. The bar for the skills demanded of the crews of these future ships will only go up. Outer space is always outer space, where no atmosphere surrounds us to absorb deadly radiation, where it takes fuel to move or to stop and where exposure to the outside will result in grievous bodily harm and even death in seconds. The old skills of early astronauts are a foundation, but space travel of the future demands that people have jobs that match not only their abilities and education, but their character. Take this quiz, and we'll tell you what your job would be on a spaceship!

Are you ready to talk to some aliens?
That's why I joined up!
Aliens are not real.
That's my main skill.
No, aliens are scary.
How much natural charisma do you have?
About ten billion tons!
Almost none
A little
Enough
Can you rock an epaulette?
The more decorations, the better.
No, I feel silly in it!
When I have to
I prefer not to try!

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Are you a people person?
Depends on the people
No
Absolutely
Mostly
Where in your training group do you expect to be placed?
First, of course
Top in tech subjects, last in physical ones!
In the middle
Top third
What ridiculous fear will you have to conquer in order to go into space?
I have no fears.
Being around other people
Heights
Enclosed spaces

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Which "Star Trek" technology do you want the most to be real?
Beaming
Cloaking device
Warp drive
Invisible armor
Which captain do you like best?
Kirk
Janeway
Picard
Pike
Aside from Earth, which planet in our solar system would you most like to visit?
Mars. It could be colonized and then become a utopia.
Venus. I want to see if I can build something that would survive.
Pluto. I want to reassure it that I still think it's a planet.
I would go to Jupiter to see the diamond rain (which is a real thing!).

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What's your favorite surprising space fact?
Objects in orbit can get heated to 120 degrees Celsius, even though space itself is cold.
It's not a proper vacuum! Even outer space has some hydrogen atoms floating around.
It's completely silent. All those "Pew pew!" sounds in movies are a lie!
We still don't know how many stars there are.
How many constellations (as seen from Earth) can you name?
25
Over 100
50-100
Under 20
What odds do you give that humanity will survive on Earth for at least another 100,000 years?
I'm certain of it.
Slim to none!
Better than evens
Low, but not impossible

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When you go into space, you get a very specific luggage allowance, meaning every ounce counts. What non-essential personal item will you be sure to bring, even if it means having fewer useful things?
Bible
Chess set
Chocolate
A cute outfit for when I'm off-duty
If you found yourself in the vacuum of space, what do you think would be your first thought?
I would think, "Well this is awkward."
I'd execute protocols on what to do in that situation.
I'd scream.
I wouldn't have thoughts. I would just die.
Are you willing to take a life in order to save a life?
Yes. Sometimes you have no choice.
I could help someone do it but not see it happen.
I couldn't do it.
I could, but I would feel bad forever.

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How many languages do you speak on at least a conversational level?
3
1
More than 4
2
You got promoted and you're now in charge of your BFF. They've disobeyed an order. Could you bear to punish them?
Yes. It has to be done.
They'd understand.
No, I would cry.
Yes, but I wouldn't enjoy it.
What degree do you have?
Double major in aeronautics and political science
PhD in mechanical engineering
Law degree
Doctorate of medicine

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How do you feel about taking a spacewalk?
I could handle it.
Intellectually curious but terrified
Petrified
Excited
Is your self-discipline good enough to stay in shape in a zero-gravity environment?
Absolutely!
Nope
I would need an accountability buddy for this.
Probably
What would be your least favorite thing about being in space?
Not seeing my family
Not being able to guarantee I could be alone
Not being able to easily tell people back home what I'm seeing
Feeling powerless in a crisis

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Which planet from "Star Wars" would you totally want to visit?
Coruscant
Alderaan
Yavin
Kashyyyk
Other than an alien attack, what's the scariest thing that can go wrong on a spaceship?
Realizing you forgot to carry a really crucial 1 when plotting your course
A hole, obviously
Everyone gets cabin fever and starts killing each other
Norovirus
Where on the spaceship will you go to chill out?
Private cabin
I spacewalk onto the outside!
I put on my headphones and stare out the window. It's close enough.
Medical bay

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How will you communicate with home?
Radio
Video call
Morse code
I doubt I'll get the chance!
Do you think you could handle going up in Vostok 1, the first craft to take a human into space?
Sure. It's a glorified tin can, but that's OK.
Probably not. I know how unlikely it was that it didn't fail.
Are you crazy? That thing is a glorified tin can!
Yes. It worked last time.
Do you think you could disobey an unlawful order?
Yes. I know the law.
No. I respect authority too much.
No. I'm a doormat.
Yes, if it meant saving a life.

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What's the best reason to go to space?
To colonize another planet
To expand our knowledge
To meet other civilizations
Career advancement
What role do you hold in your friend group, generally speaking?
Decider
Fixer of things
Peacemaker
Nurse
How would you handle having an itch that you literally cannot scratch?
I'd just ignore it. It'd pass.
I'd wriggle a lot.
I would go mad and scream a lot.
I would take a painkiller, which would fix it because itches are actually very small pains.

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