What's Your Ghost Name?

By: Mark Lichtenstein
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
What's Your Ghost Name?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

A good ghost name evokes the spirit of the deceased, their intentions, their power. It should send a chill up the spine, and make the hairs on the back of one's neck stand on end. What's yours?
Where are you from?
England
New York
Boston
All over
Are you cool?
Gosh no, old boy
I'm pretty cool
I ain't as cool as David Ortiz!
I'm cool in a Lovecraftian sort of way
Are you frightening?
A bit
Slightly
Nah
Very

Advertisement

Do you have a day job?
No, I earned my money the old fashioned way
Not anymore
Nah, my pa, he take care of everything
Yes
What would you have done had you not died?
Probably looked after my estate
I would have been a very rich widow
I woulda been statin' centah fieldah foah tha Basten Red Sawcks!
I would have been many things
What do you yearn for in death?
To work out how I died
To haunt those who crossed me in life
To find my beer
To pay rent

Advertisement

Which song appeals to you?
"The Stately Homes Of England"
"Lola Montez"
"Sweet Caroline"
"Bodies"
What great movie monster do you admire?
"The Invisible man"
"Dracula"
"The Wolfman"
"The Invisible Hand of the Market"
Which gangster appeals to you?
The Cray Brothers
Lansky
Whitey Bulger
Dutch Schultz

Advertisement

Which serial killer do you think would have killed you?
Harold Shipman
Jack The Ripper
The Boston Strangler
Lizzie Halliday
What would you wear to your birthday party?
A smoking jacket
A red cocktail dress
My best Red Sox jersey
Enough clothes for three people
Would you have many guests at your birthday party?
Of course
Only the appropriate ones
I'd have all my pals
All the other children from the orphanage

Advertisement

How many birthday party guests would be true friends?
Oh, you know... three
None, I have no friends
All of 'em, pal!
I don't know what a friend would look like
Who did you look up to in life?
Churchill
Lady Windermere
Manny
Cthulu
What religion did you follow in life?
C of E old boy!
None
Is the Pope Catholic?
Lutheranism

Advertisement

Are you still religious in death?
It wouldn't do not to be
No
Nah
I am a god in death
What is being dead like?
Rather confusing actually
Freeing
It sucks!
It is the nightmare of my dreams
Are you a friendly ghost?
Yes
Friendly isn't quite the word
Yeah, why not?
No!

Advertisement

Which horror author would best capture your story?
Clive Barker
Dean Koontz
Stephen King
H. P. Lovecraft
How mighty were you in life?
Not very
Quite mighty
I was alright
I was the weakest of the weak
How mighty are you in death?
Not very
Quite, if I wanted to be
I could hit one out of the park
I am a god of nightmares

Advertisement

Is death all you had hoped it would be?
No! I expected to see my parents
Yes
I was hoping to be able to see day games
It is all I could ever want
Do you fear anything, now that you are dead?
My wife, surely old boy!
Never
That Luis Severino is frightening
Mirrors frighten me
Do you tend to haunt one place or move around?
I stay around home
I move around
I stick to my 'hood
I commute

Advertisement

Do you spend time with other ghosts?
If I can get them to visit me
I like to be alone
During the playoffs, sure
Yes, two
Do you wish you were in the afterlife rather than hanging around Earth?
Of course I do
Yes
Nah, I want to keep my seats at Fenway
No
Which show do you like best?
Downton Abbey
Copper
Ally McBeal
Stranger Things

Advertisement

As a ghost, do you kill?
Gosh no! That would not be on!
Yes
Why would I do that?
Only on Thursdays
If you were to kill someone while a ghost, would you worry about what would happen to your soul?
Of course I would!
I'm damned anyway
Yeah
I have no soul to damn
Do you enjoy being a ghost?
It's no good, don't you know?
More than being alive
It's alright
I do

Advertisement

You Got: