Image: Shutterstock
About This Quiz
The mafia is known by many names: Cosa Nostra, the mob, organized crime, the Family, and so on. Similarly, its members need street names to show they have earned their place within it. What's yours?
Do you know how to make someone an offer they can't refuse?
Yes, but I would never presume.
I only know how to deliver such an offer.
Yes.
No, that's mean.
Do people fear you?
No, they should though.
Yes, and they should.
Yes, and it is quite deliberate on my part.
No.
Advertisement
Have you ever had anyone "disappeared"?
Absolutely not!
I do the disappearing.
Loads, yes.
I may have caused that to happen by mistake.
Are you good with numbers?
I'm pretty competent when it comes to numbers.
No, they scare me.
I'm okay.
I'm very good with numbers.
Advertisement
Do you want out of the game?
I'm already building a legit side business.
No, this is all I know how to do.
No, this is for life.
One day, yes.
How did you get into the mafia?
I knew a guy who knew a guy.
I proved my thuggy capabilities to the boss.
Family.
They bought my workplace.
Do you know how to break a finger?
No, that is icky.
Yes, I love it.
Yes, I do not like it though.
Yes, but I only watch others do it.
Advertisement
Do you have lots of family in the biz?
A distant cousin is in the mafia.
Lots of relatives are in the mafia.
All my relatives are in the mafia.
No.
Do you have a dirty cop on retainer?
I have a few dirty cops on my side.
No, that's above my pay grade.
I have dozens of dirty cops on my payroll.
Yes, I have one.
Do you have a legit side business?
I have several side businesses.
No.
I have one big business.
I make it look that way.
Advertisement
How will your mafia career end?
With retirement to the country.
Death or jail.
Death.
Witness protection, probably.
Advertisement
How rare is your skill set?
There are very few others that have my skill set.
There are a lot of guys and gals like me.
It's not common at all.
My skill set is fairly rare.
Advertisement
Do you work alone?
Yes, no one else understands what I do.
I can work alone or in a group.
No, I have a right-hand man.
Mostly, but sometimes with an assistant.
Are you in charge of most people around you?
I'm in charge of a small group of people.
No.
I oversee everyone in the organization.
I manage a large group of people.
Do you have a sidekick?
No.
Only when I'm going to a lot of businesses.
I have many sidekicks.
I have a single sidekick.
Advertisement
If you get caught, how long will you be in the big house?
Ten to twenty years.
I'd be in jail for several life sentences.
About a week: the judge is a golfing buddy.
I'll be incarcerated for a few years.
If you were legit, what would you do?
I'd be an entrepreneur.
I'd be a bouncer.
Ironically, I'd be a lawyer.
I'd be an accountant.
Do you need to be in good shape to do your job?
It might help me concentrate.
I'm in peak condition.
No, being fat lends me an air of success.
It's neither here nor there.
Advertisement
Do you stay in good with the local clergy?
I pray on Sundays.
I show up twice a week to pray and give a tithe.
Yes, I paid to renovate the church.
We've never met.
Does your family know what you do?
No, they need deniability.
Some of my family has their suspicions.
Of course.
My girlfriend does but not my parents.
What vehicle do you drive?
A Dodge Charger.
An old Chevy Camero.
I don't drive, I have people for that, but I ride in a Rolls Royce.
A Mercedes.
Advertisement
What do you do with protection money?
I count it.
I collect it.
I spend it.
I give it to the cops sometimes.
How do you feel about gambling?
I like a friendly wager on special occasions.
I do it once in a while.
I never do it, that's against God.
I know the house always wins.
Advertisement
You Got: