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What's Your Trucker Nickname?

By: Steven Miller

5 min

What's Your Trucker Nickname?

Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

There's a fox in the hen house, and a flying doughnut is on our trail. This is no time for sandbagging. Get your ears on and do your best to avoid becoming a bucket mouth on the CB.

If you understood any of the previous paragraph, it seems clear that you're definitely trucker material.

The road is full of characters, and we've got a nickname that will fit pretty much any Tom, Dick or Julie that may come along. Whether you've never driven a big rig or you've got decades of experience on the road, the following questions are sure to narrow in on a name that'll stick to you like white on rice.

For example, do you drive so much that falling asleep behind the wheel has become a common occurrence? If you cause the rumble strips to sing on a regular basis and you're commonly in a few lanes at a time, you're likely going to earn the nickname of "Road Hog." If your rig is a total sty and you eat with reckless abandon, then that would pretty much seal the deal on that one.

Fasten your seat belt. It's time to hit the road and find out what this cotton-pickin' thing is made of.

Which description best matches your body type?

Large.

Skinny.

Curvy.

Average.

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Have you ever seen the movie "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure"?

I've seen parts of it, but not the whole thing.

I've never seen it.

I think I saw it once back in the day, but I don't remember much of it.

I loved that movie!

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Which actor or actress would be the best fit to play you in a movie version of your life?

Johnny Depp.

Emma Watson.

Rosanne Barr.

Shia LaBeouf

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Which genre of movies do you like the most?

Horror.

Romantic comedy.

Action/Adventure.

Mystery.

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How many accidents have you been in?

I've been in one, but it wasn't my fault.

I've been in more than my fair share of them.

I've been in a few fender benders, but that's about it.

I haven't been in any, but I've seen plenty of horrifying wrecks.

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What's the scariest thing you can imagine about driving a truck?

Getting behind on my delivery.

Picking up a scary hitchhiker.

Some crazy stuff going down at a rest area.

Losing the brakes going downhill.

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How would you describe your romantic life?

Uneventful.

A roller coaster ride.

Never a dull moment.

Fulfilling.

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Which description best matches your sense of humor?

Dry.

Witty.

Corny.

Dark.

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How many speeding tickets have you gotten?

Lots, I have a bit of a lead foot.

I've never gotten a speeding ticket.

I got a few in my younger days, but it's been a while since I got pulled over.

I had one recently, but they are pretty rare.

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When was the last time you skipped a shower or bath for more than a day?

I've done that a few times before, but it's been a while.

I don't think I've ever done that.

I did that once or twice in the last month.

That's going on as we speak.

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What are you most likely to order at the truck stop diner?

A salad.

A hamburger.

I'll just have the usual. They know what I like here.

I'll get a double order of the special.

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Which air freshener scent are you most likely to hang from your rear-view mirror?

New Car Smell.

Vanilla.

Black Ice.

Pine.

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Would you rather drive solo or as a team?

I'd much rather work with someone else.

I'd like to drive as a team, but I can't find anyone to drive with me.

I'd consider working as a team, but it'd be hard to find someone who didn't get on my nerves.

I'd only do a solo gig.

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Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker?

It's not something I'd make a habit out of, but I could see it happening once in a while.

Nope, that's not something I'd ever do.

I'd pick up hitchhikers regularly. It would be nice to have some company.

I might, but only if I had a good feeling about it.

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How many cups of coffee are you drinking per day?

Two.

I don't drink coffee.

One.

More than two.

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What outfit are you most likely to wear as a driver?

A track suit.

Yoga pants and a comfy shirt.

Jeans and a T-shirt.

Khakis and a polo.

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Which word best matches your general attitude?

Sassy.

Goofy.

Focused.

Crazy.

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Which animal best fits as your personal mascot?

Pig.

Elephant.

Cat.

Sloth.

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Are you more masculine or feminine?

I'm feminine, but a bit of a tomboy.

I'm masculine, but I'm in touch with my feminine side.

I'm totally feminine.

I'm all man, all the time.

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Would you say that you attract or repel your fellow drivers?

I wouldn't say that I attract other drivers, but they do admire me, I think.

They all want to come over and talk to me.

They all seem to move away when I walk in the room.

I'm more of a lone-wolf type.

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Are you married or single?

I've never been married.

I'm single, but with this crowd, I'm not sure that I'm ready to mingle.

I'm divorced. He cheated on me.

I'm married. Why do you think I work so hard?

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Which spot would you rather visit?

Atlanta, Georgia.

Las Vegas, Nevada.

New York, New York.

San Francisco, California.

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What part of the day are you at your best?

Midday.

Late afternoon.

First thing in the morning.

Late at night.

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How many miles do you drive each year?

Over 30,000 miles.

I try to keep it under 12,000 miles.

I'd guess around 20,000 miles.

Around 15,000 miles, I'd say.

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When was the last time you went on a long road trip?

It's been a long time.

I went on one in the last year.

It's been a few years since I went out on the road.

I'm on one right now.

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Is it pretty common for you the cause the rumble strips to make noise?

Yeah, I do tend to lose my concentration fairly regularly.

No, that never happens to me.

I'll drift to the shoulder once or twice each time I drive, usually when I'm messing with the radio.

It's pretty rare for me to hit the rumble strips.

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Have you ever dozed off at the wheel?

Yeah, but I don't think I've ever actually fallen asleep.

That has never happened to me.

I have once or twice, but I always pull over when that happens.

I have to admit that this does happen to me fairly regularly.

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Would you consider yourself to be the king or queen of the road?

I'm retired from my role as queen of the road.

Yeah, I guess I do think of myself as the queen of the road.

I am the king. All must bow down to me.

No, I'm not that full of myself.

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Have you ever driven an oversized load?

I have no interest in driving an oversized load. That would be too stressful.

No, but I think it would be interesting.

I haul oversized loads all the time.

Besides myself, no.

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Of the following, which kind of music are you most likely to be listening to as you roll down the road?

Country.

Hip hop.

Rock.

Jazz.

You Got:

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