Where in England Are You Destined to Live?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Where in England Are You Destined to Live?
Image: joe daniel price/Moment/Getty Images

About This Quiz

England may be undergoing crazy changes right now, but that doesn't mean it isn't a great place to live. Alas, it's not the cutesy land that Richard Curtis portrays in movies like "Notting Hill" (where a four-bedroom house now costs £3m), but it is something much better: a place where you can find enormous diversity of culture, lifestyle and opportunity, all within a few hours' drive.

Whatever you want, England has it! If you're a driven professional with no kids yet, you can move to East London and live in a diverse area with near-zero unemployment, and enjoy regular weekends or business trips to dozens of cultures within a cheap, quick flight. If you're a growing family who needs more space but still wants access to airports and the city, you can slot in neatly to any of dozens of commuter towns, from the London commuter belt to further-out options like Southampton or Brighton, where the jobs are plentiful and the landscape beautiful.

If you're all about community, blackberry-picking in little country lanes, and visiting cathedrals and stately homes, you can locate yourself in any of thousands of little villages that may not be too friendly to strangers, but will eventually adopt you and protect you like one of their own. If you're an aspiring country bumpkin who only needs a great internet connection to do your job, be aware that proper broadband has been deemed a human right in England, and that means you'll have great access from your faraway cottage. You can head north to the Lakes, Pennines or Broads and get away from everyone else even as you continue to make a living.

All this, and yet it's never very hot, very cold, very humid or very snowy. England truly has it all. Let's find out where you'd belong!

Do you want to know your neighbors?
Mostly not
Some of them
Yes, all of them!
Yes, but they should be very few in number.
How important is proximity to high culture?
Essential
Very important
It should be within easy weekend trip distance.
I don't care about that.
How many restaurants do you need to survive?
All of them
More than 10
A selection of about 10
Just one pub does nicely for me.

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What industry do you work in?
Arts
Finance
Tech
Writing
Other
Do you like the great outdoors?
Not really
I hate and fear the outdoors.
I like it a lot!
I love it!
England is just a one or two-hour flight from multiple foreign countries. How often do you intend to fly abroad?
Weekly or more
Six times a year
Three times a year
Once a year

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Do you have kids?
Nope
Yes, one or two
Yes, three or more
Yes, but they are grown up.
How many dogs would you like to have?
None
One
Two
All the dogs
What's your idea of a lovely Sunday afternoon?
Go to a vintage market
Go to a mall then the cinema
Take a walk then watch a movie
Go fishing

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Do you participate in community events?
Not really
Only the best ones
Yes, religiously
Only when I feel like it
Do you love to take quick weekend trips?
I would never be home on the weekend if I could avoid it.
Once in a while, when the in-laws have the kids
Rarely
Only local
What annoys you the most in the city?
Slow people
Excessive crowds
Pollution
Sirens

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How long a commute is acceptable?
Up to 30 minutes
Up to 90 minutes
Up to an hour
I refuse to commute any more.
Do you like driving?
I actually don't know how to drive.
I love it!
I like it.
Not really
Do you dream of a working hearth?
No, that's not very green.
That might be cool.
Sometimes, yes
All the time!

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What sort of house do you want to live in?
Converted industrial space
Standard two-up, two-down suburban house
Little cottage
Farmhouse
What sort of weather do you like?
Mild, but warmed by the heat island effect
Pleasant and sunny
Cool and breezy
Rainy and bleak
Can you deal with tourists?
If they leave me alone, sure
Not really, except when I am one
As long as they spend money locally and behave, they are welcome.
Yes, but only for short periods

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What cool English landmark would you like to visit more than once?
All the London museums
Bletchley Park, where the Enigma code was broken
Stonehenge
All the natural wonders, e.g. Lake District
What sort of body of water would you like to have nearby?
I don't need that.
Swimming pool
River
Lake
Who is your idea of the neighbor from hell?
Anyone intolerant
Anyone antisocial
Anyone loud
Anyone nosy

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Do you own a really great pair of walking boots?
Nope
I have a pair of wedge wellies for the rain, does that count?
Yes, they're great!
I have multiple pairs.
Do you look good in a Barbour jacket?
LOL, no
I don't think anyone looks good in one of those.
Yes, I have it in green and in brown!
Good enough, I guess.
What sort of train is the best train?
London Overground
Chiltern Railways
Great Western Railways
West Coast Mainline

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Can you stand the quiet?
No, I get tinnitus.
Too much quiet is weird.
I like the quiet.
I need quiet.
Do you need private outdoor space?
No
Just a little garden
Yes, a big garden to make beautiful!
Yes, a huge garden to grow veggies and keep goats
Do you care about access to good elementary or secondary schools?
Not yet
That is my top priority.
Elementary, sure, but I'm happy to go for boarding for secondary.
Not any more

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Do you intend to own any pets besides dogs?
I don't want any pets.
No, thanks
Maybe a cat
I want a menagerie.
How important is a big eat-in kitchen?
I don't cook, so not at all.
It's definitely a big plus.
I'm happy to use a dining room for the eating part so the kitchen can be little if it is functional.
It's the most important thing a house can have since all the other rooms will be cold!
Do you want to be around lots of expats?
Yes, I love meeting people from different places all the time.
No, I want my circle to be local through and through.
I welcome anyone who likes dogs and is a good egg.
I want to be around free spirits, and I don't care how they got there!

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