Which Cards Against Humanity Card Describes You?

By: Artimis Charvet
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Which Cards Against Humanity Card Describes You?
Image: YouTube

About This Quiz

As they like to say "Cards against Humanity is a game for horrible people." But we all know that all this game is, is horribly hilarious! Take our quiz and find out which card best describes you!
"Why can't I sleep at night?" - CAH
"Being on fire." - CAH
Oompa loompas invading.
"Elderly Japanese Men."- CAH
Your mom.
How do you tackle difficult tasks?
Buying a Costco membership to eat free samples.
Shutting up about everything, forever.
By playing Cards Against Humanity!
By successfully using the pickup line, "Hey, I'm from out of town. Do you know how to get into your pants?"
How do you want to die?
With a bang.
"Bees?"- CAH
Famine.
Old age.

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What's the most jolly?
"Flying sex snakes."- CAH
Santa Claus.
Jelly beans.
"The Care Bear Stare."- CAH
What's the worst thing about TSA?
Silence.
The lines.
The hands roaming free.
"Making a pouty face."- CAH
What can you not have just one of?
Grandma's ashes.
$7 foot-longs.
"Raptor attacks."- CAH
Dat Ass.

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"What's the smell?" - CAH
Fan girls freaking out.
Jumping into a giant ball pit.
A sweater knit out of human hair.
My love life.
What will always get you beat up?
My pets.
Drunk texting.
My girlfriend's boyfriend.
"Vigorous Jazz Hands." - CAH
What gives you the goosebumps?
"Morgan Freeman's voice"- CAH
Falling in love.
"Winking at old people"- CAH
Rats eating my sandwich.

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You have 99 problems, but one of them is not what?
You.
"Authentic Mexican cuisine." - CAH
The northwest.
Maroon 5.
What's your secret power?
50 shades of hungry.
To not to sit like a lady.
A sassy lumberjack.
Tacos.
"What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?" - CAH
"The gays." - CAH
A tiny donkey asking for milk.
Darth Vader and Hitler preforming a jig.
Donald Trump

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What gets better with time?
Wine.
Whiskey.
Women.
Me!
What are you giving up for lent?
You.
Dark chocolate.
"Jobs." - CAH
Nothing, I am not religious.
What do you do when you walk into a party?
The Macarena.
Build a Death Star and making Alderaan pay for it.
Print 10 million "Save the Trees" flyers.
"YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS." - CAH

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"What's the next Happy Meal toy?" - CAH
Razorblades.
"Batman." - CAH
"The Care Bear Stare." - CAH
My soul.
How do you get your curves into shape?
"Serfdom." - CAH
Relay for life.
"Emotions." - CAH
Skipping.
How do you like your makeup?
Painted on like a china doll.
Liberal.
Like I am drinking alone on my birthday.
Nonexistent.

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Which of the seven dwarfs do you most relate to?
Doc.
Happy.
Grumpy.
Other.
What ended your last relationship?
"A Sassy Black Woman." - CAH
Alien abduction.
"Daddy Issues." - CAH
"Aaron Burr." - CAH
Who shall inherit the earth?
"Batman." - CAH
The meek.
Muskrats.
A level 19 Magikarp.

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What / Who do you believe in?
God.
"The Amish."- CAH
The first monkey to orbit the earth.
CNN.
What is your ideal afternoon?
Stepping on a lego.
Fried chicken and waffles.
"A Super Soaker full of cat pee." - CAH
"A Bop It." - CAH
How do you prepare for battle?
By readying the mind.
Singing and prancing.
"The Make-A-Wish Foundation." - CAH
Laying down in protest.

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"What is Batman's guilty pleasure?" - CAH
"Dead Parents." - CAH
Buying Congress's browser history.
My personal failings in life.
"Laying an egg." - CAH
Who/What do you turn to when you have a problem?
Anna and Elsa.
Comfort food.
Getting free kittens from Craigslist.
This hat.
What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
Drop a baby on live television.
Firing employees by shooting them out of a giant cannon.
Forget the rule "I" before "E" in the word "Alzheimer's."
Open my eyes.

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What are your thoughts on therapy?
"Bees?" - CAH
Some peace and quiet.
Just as good as drinking alone.
Just another person to tell me I am fabulous!
What's for dinner?
"The Devil himself." - CAH
Joseph Stalin.
Horse meat marinated in fancy feast.
"GoGurt."- CAH
What does the world end with?
"Grave robbing." - CAH
"Emotions."- CAH
Lobsters.
"The American Dream." - CAH

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You Got: