Which Footballer Should You Marry?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Which Footballer Should You Marry?
Image: YouTube

About This Quiz

Football - known as soccer in the US - is one of the most popular sports ever created. Indeed, it's actually one of the oldest sports as well, being even older than jousting. There are accounts of football games going back as far as the year 217 (and that is not a typo!). The sport enjoys a marvelous advantage, which is that literally anyone can play it, be they rich or poor, healthy or barely mobile, old or young, talented or pretty darn useless on the pitch. 

You don't need much equipment or a specialized pitch. If you have a ball and an open space, you can get a game going. You can even handicap certain players by forbidding people over 18 to shoot at goal if there are players under age 8, or similar tactics.

Given the enormous pool of fans, it's hardly surprising that professional football is thus enormously popular. The World Cup is always the most-watched sporting event of its year, with a typical viewership of two billion. That means the top footballers are very famous, some within their countries of origin, others in the nations where they play, and still more all over the world - or at the least the football-playing world.

Which of them would you most like to be with? Whose style, team, and position on the pitch suits you? Let's find out!

How much do you like the spotlight?
I don't mind not being in it.
It's not very important to me.
It's nice when it is earned.
I crave it at all costs.

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How fast do you like to live?
Not too fast.
A bit fast.
Fairly fast.
Light speed.

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Do you ever act out?
Not at all.
Occasionally.
Rarely.
Frequently.

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Do you mind being followed by the paparazzi?
Keep them away from me!
Sometimes I'll need to get away.
It's fine by me.
I look forward to it!

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How much do you like to travel?
Not much at all.
I'm okay with travel.
I like travel.
I love travel, but only in extreme style.

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Which country do you not mind living in?
The UK.
Argentina.
Catalonia.
Portugal.

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How many languages do you speak?
Just one.
Just two.
Three.
Four or more

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How important is wealth to you?
It's nice just to be comfortable.
I'd like not to ever have to worry.
I need to have more than most of the people I know.
I need to be the richest there is.

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Do you mind dealing with fans?
I'd rather not have to.
I don't mind, from time to time.
I love fans!
I'm in this for the adulation.

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Do you mind if football players take dives?
I hate that. It's unsportsmanlike.
It's part of the game.
It's an art, and I'm cool with that.
It's not really becoming.

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How important are looks?
Not at all important.
Somewhat important.
As long as he has a square jaw, I'm okay with it.
Looks are more important than anything else.

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Do you want to settle down?
Absolutely.
Some day.
Not right now!
Never!

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How much do you want your boo to be involved in raising your children?
Heavily involved.
I want him to do something every day.
I want him to be around at least a couple days a week.
I never want him around the kids.

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Do you mind being second best?
No, it would be an honor to be even fourth best.
No, because it would be on the road to number one.
No, it's still a huge step up from the crowd.
Yes, I must be number one!

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How flashy do you want your lifestyle to be?
Low key.
About average.
Quite a bit flashy.
Like a supernova.

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Is it important that your husband be intelligent?
Yes, he has to have a big brain.
No, it's fine as long as he can spell his name.
He should at least know to let someone else handle his money.
He only needs to be smart in ways that make him good at his job.

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How disciplined are you?
Not very disciplined.
Pretty disciplined.
Like a surgeon.
Like a Marine drill sergeant.

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How fit are you?
I'm not falling apart.
I can squat my own weight.
I could do laundry on my abs.
I'm rock hard.

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Does anyone call your behavior a bit weird?
Never.
Very rarely.
Not often.
Not to my face!

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How sporty are you?
I'm not very sporty.
I'm content to cheer from the sidelines.
I'm pretty sporty, in my own way.
I'm the sportiest.

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Do you mind if you have to move in the next few years?
As long as I have a couple years in one place, I'm fine.
I mind.
I need at least 10 years.
I'm okay with frequent moves.

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How important is fair play?
Very important.
Not important at all.
Fairly important.
It's the most important thing.

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How many children do you want?
Three at most.
Two at most.
One.
As many as biology will let me crank out.

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How big a house do you want?
A modest house.
I don't care so long as it is in the high status neighborhood.
Pretty big.
Versailles.

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What kind of car do you want to drive?
Volvo XC90.
Cadillac Escalade.
Bently Bentayga.
I never want to have to drive, but if I do drive, it should be the most bleeding edge luxury car there is.

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Do you mind being beholden to a brand?
I'd rather not.
If it's only for a year or two.
If it's well paid.
I'll do it for life!

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Do you want any level of anonymity?
Some would be nice.
When I'm not near where my husband plays, I'd like to be anonymous.
Only among those who don't follow football.
No, I want to be known everywhere I go.

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Do you plan to turn your relationship into the basis of a career?
No, thanks.
I'd like it to give a boost to my modeling career.
Yes, I'd like a column or something.
Of course! I don't plan on having any actual relationship with my husband.

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Would you be okay with an open relationship?
No way!
Only until we're married.
I don't think so, because any errant lovechild will cut back on my fee.
Yes! Obviously! He's a footballer!

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What gemstone will be in your engagement ring?
Amethyst.
Blue sapphire.
Sapphires and rubies.
Ruby.

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You Got: