Which Mortal Superhero Are You?

By: Mark Lichtenstein
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Which Mortal Superhero Are You?
Image: Collage, The Punisher, Batman, Hindsight Lad

About This Quiz

When you think about superheroes, the first thing that usually comes to mind is their ability to do extraordinary things.  From having the ability to fly, to being able to carry skyscrapers and running at the speed of light, these powers are the main reason that most of us idolize them. But there is also a different breed of superheroes, ones who do not possess any powers, but in fact are mortals like you and I. These heroes literally risk their lives in order to fight crime and to save the world, often times resulting in them being severely hurt.

One of the most popular mortal heroes is  Batman, a man who from a very young age knew that the world was a very corrupt place. Unlike the other mortal heroes like The Punisher and El Aguila, he has a lot of money (which can be seen as a superpower) and was able to surround himself with gizmos and gadgets that would allow him to be one of the greatest, even among the "real superheroes."

Which of the mortal superheroes are you most like? Will it be someone who was already on your list of superheroes or some who you've never heard of? The only way to find out who it is, is to take this quiz!

What got you into the superhero game?
My family was massacred.
My family was massacred while I impotently stood by, doing nothing.
I tried scamming a superhero and it didn't work out.
I just sort of chose to jump into it.
What is your biggest motivator?
Impotent rage.
Suppressed childhood crisis.
Self-aggrandizement.
I seek justice!
What event most shaped your outlook on your job?
Some personal losses.
I was out of town for a work thing for a while.
I tried blackmail once, and ended up a superhero!
Moving house.

Advertisement

Do you wear a mask?
No. I own what I do.
Yes, because I'm breaking the law in a big way and don't want to go to jail.
No, because I'm never in the field.
Yes, because I think I'm Zorro!
Where do you draw the line?
I don't.
Killing.
Getting in a fight.
Hurting the innocent at all.
Do you fight as part of a team?
No. I'm on my own.
Occasionally.
Yes! I had to twist arms to get in.
Yes, usually.

Advertisement

If you knew Daredevil, what would you call him?
The Red Clown.
Me without money.
Totally awesome.
Pansy.
If you knew Iron-Man, what would you call him?
Rich, out of touch fool.
Arrogant man.
Total idol.
Dumb American who thinks he can push people around.
If you could have one power, what would it be?
Venom's alien costume
Superman's bulletproof skin
Super strength
The ability to shoot electricity through things

Advertisement

Do you have your own comic book?
I have several.
I have a couple.
No, sadly.
I do now!
What tool (not weapon) do you prize above all others?
My van
My car
My computer
My mind!
What is your favored weapon?
SMG
Boomerang
My computer
A saber

Advertisement

Which symbol do you like best?
Skulls
Rodents
Mirrors
Birds
How do you feel about people with superpowers?
They're usually idiots.
They didn't earn their powers.
They are easy to manipulate.
They don't know what they have.
Who is your big enemy?
All criminals
The crazy criminals
I don't really have one.
The Scarlet Witch, if I had to pick one.

Advertisement

What would you do if you got your hands on a violent criminal?
I'd kill him and leave him to rot in the sun.
I'd beat him up and leave him for the police.
I'd try not to get beat up.
I'd skewer him and leave him in an alleyway.
Without the aid of a weapon, how helpless are you?
I'm deadly until I'm dead.
I can punch and kick very well.
Totally helpless.
I'm still dangerous.
What is your go-to fighting system?
Linear Infighting Neural Override Engagement
Ninja Jujutsu
Hacking your bank account
Mysterious Circle Fencing

Advertisement

Do you have a signature move?
Ripping out the throat.
Hanging someone from a lamp post, but leaving them alive.
Running away.
Parry and thrust!
Are you in good shape?
I'm in fantastic shape, because crazy is good at the gym.
I'm in very good shape because I don't have a life, so I spend all my time at the gym.
I'm in terrible shape.
I'm in great shape. The gym? Nah. I just practice fighting a lot.
How old are you?
I'm in my 40s.
I'm in my 50s.
I'm in my 20s.
I'm in my 30s.

Advertisement

Do you have a family?
Not anymore
My immediate family is dead.
I didn't know my father and my mother is dead.
My family is fine. Why?
Using only the names of real places, describe where you're supposed to be from?
The Bronx
Brooklyn
Queens
Spain
Do you have a sidekick?
I do.
Yes, I've had a few.
No
I like to think of The Defenders as my sidekicks.

Advertisement

Is your sidekick your tech support?
Yes
No
I'm the tech support.
We don't have tech support.
Is your sidekick old or out of shape?
Both
Neither
No, I don't have one.
My sidekicks are in great shape!
Does your sidekick object to your activities?
Occasionally
Never
I don't have a sidekick.
My peers are on board.

Advertisement

Have you ever gotten a sidekick killed?
No.
Yes, sadly. I didn't even tell his successors about what happened.
No, as I don't have a sidekick.
No, but I have lost some valuable things of my own.
Have you ever been manipulated by false benefactors?
Yes, and I killed them all.
No! I am by own benefactor.
No, but I've tried being the manipulator.
No, but I have been manipulated.
Are you in this for justice or revenge?
Revenge.
I'm too crazy to know the difference.
Neither! I'm in it for the glory!
Justice, definitely.

Advertisement

You Got: