Who Should You Burn in Effigy This Guy Fawkes Night?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
6 min
Who Should You Burn in Effigy This Guy Fawkes Night?
Image: Wiki Commons by William Warby

About This Quiz

Isn't there always so much to be upset about? And isn't there always someone you see as the cause of that which upsets you? Guy Fawkes certainly felt that way, and he took part in the infamous Gunpowder Plot for which we remember him every year, by burning in effigy the contemporary villains we see behind the modern evils around us.

The choice of which villain to burn is tied inextricably to the year in question and the signature suffering of the British people at that time. Guy Fawkes stand-ins have traditionally been major villains from outside of the country, including famous dictators, terrorists, or other literal evildoers of whom everyone has had quite enough. In other years, those we burn in effigy may be figures from the popular culture who have disappointed us either through their work or through their actions outside of their work. 

Of course, politicians have long been a popular subject for those who wish to really put the hours into making a top-notch Guy whom they want to see burn. This is often the case in times when the people blame the government for a stagnant economy, an unpopular war or every once in a while, the weather.

Making a Guy is a lot of hard work. Don't invest your time in making the wrong Guy. Take this quiz, and we will tell you whom you should burn in effigy this Guy Fawkes Night.

Woman reading newspaper and having breakfast on balcony
Robert Daly/OJO Images/Getty Images
When you read the newspaper, what section do you open first of all?
The business section
The arts and entertainment section
The classifieds
The obituaries
Silhouette figure standing in front of a blazing bonfire
Martin Appleson/Moment/Getty Images
How will you burn the Guy?
On a traditional funeral pyre, like The Master after the 10th Doctor burned his remains
Suspended above the bonfire with a wire so that he can be lowered in
Buried under the bonfire, inside a burning cage
Tied to a stake like Joan of Arc
Woman with imaginary angel halo
JPM/Image Source/Getty Images
On what personal virtue do you pride yourself?
Reason
Kindness
Trust
Civility

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Retro Tv host reading the news
Orbon Alija/E+/Getty Images
How far back in history does one need to look for the foundation of present-day events?
Just a few years, I'm afraid.
20 years, no more, no less
I feel it stems from my childhood.
I read this book and what it says is — let me see where I put it — well anyway, it says that if you look at the reign of Charles Martel, for example, you'll find the establishment of ...
Stressed Caucasian businesswoman using cell phone
Jose Luis Pelaez Inc/DigitalVision/Getty Images
What fear dominates your day to day thoughts?
The collapse of the economy. I think about it constantly.
I will be judged by someone cruel and unreasonable.
The threat of physical violence
I will need to have my CPAP machine mended.
Houses of Parliament, London
Brian Bumby/Moment/Getty Images
What was Britain's greatest national blunder?
Brexit
Airing reality television shows!
Structuring our educational system as we do, clearly.
The Civil War

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Bossy Behavior
jhorrocks/E+/Getty Images
How would you act if you saw a stranger berating his subordinate in public?
I would step between them and lecture the stranger on why they should not behave that way.
I would shout my support for the subordinate and wag a finger at the stranger.
I would freeze.
I would give the stranger a piece of my mind! There's no need to be rude when lecturing someone, as I will now demonstrate!
Guy relaxes on sofa looking out of window
Ezra Bailey/DigitalVision/getty Images
What must you avoid in order to relax?
News alerts on my mobile
Spoilers on social media
Reminders of my school days
People under the age of 50
Man cupping hand over big ear
Fuse/Corbis/Getty Images
At the sound of which of these words would your ears perk up?
Prorogation
No
Oy!
History

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Families around bonfire
Heidi Coppock-Beard/Photodisc/Getty Images
Where will you build your bonfire on Guy Fawkes Night?
I'll do it in Parliament Square Garden if I'm allowed.
My village has set aside a place for us to build one.
I'll build mine in my back yard.
My retirement community is bringing a man in to build one.
Man salutes
PeopleImages/E+/Getty Images
Of the following people whom you may not usually think of very much, who do you respect the most?
Philip Lee, MP
Bruce Forsyth
The nerd in my childhood school
Queen Victoria
Man yelling at computer
katleho Seisa/E+/Getty Images
What inanimate object do you find yourself yelling at the most?
My computer
The television
My yearbook from secondary school
The radio

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Festival Sparklers
SolStock/E+/Getty Images
Who will attend your Guy Fawkes Night festivities?
Friends from a political group of which I am a part.
My friends from work
I will be alone with my roommates.
My spouse, our children, and the grandchildren
Man looking skeptical
PeopleImages/E+/Getty Images
What kind of event has the biggest impact on your day to day life?
The sort of thing that makes the newspapers
The mood around the water cooler at work
Reminders of my childhood
When someone says something displaying their total lack of knowledge of history
Woman making a self defense gesture
ondacaracola photography/Moment/Getty Images
Who would you rather stayed away from your Guy Fawkes Night bonfire?
The person whom we are burning in effigy
Anyone with a video camera!
My colleagues from work
I wish everyone could come!

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Man using TV Remote Control
GregorBister/E+/Getty Images
Which of the following television shows do you wish you could do away with entirely?
The news
Talent shows
Shows for tweens
Those shows about history that over-simplify everything for people who can't be bothered to pick up a book!
Around The Bonfire
chrispecoraro/E+/Getty Images
How large will the bonfire be on Guy Fawkes Night?
Large enough
The size of a small table, because I'm getting rid of some furniture as a part of this.
It has to fit in a trash can.
Massive! We should worry the fire department!
Man standing at podium with microphones
Hill Street Studios/DigitalVision/Getty Images
What's wrong with politics these days?
Everything
I don't know, I don't follow it.
Too many jerks
Democracy has failed us and we need to go back to the way things were before Magna Carta!

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Two friends having fun
Flashpop/DigitalVision/Getty Images
How would you describe your best friend from childhood?
Thoughtful, playful and smart
A good laugh
Quiet and a lot like me
A real trouble maker, but then again, that's why we were friends.
Bridging the gap
erhui1979/DigitalVision Vectors/Getty Images
How do you approach complicated problems, be they plumbing issues or interpersonal relationships?
Try to find out the decision where things started to go wrong.
Listen to the experts for advice!
I run from most of them.
Well, if you're going to solve it, you have to go way back to find out the cause and then ignore the symptoms because frankly, there's no point in addressing them!
Hand lifting portrait card out from others
Dimitri Otis/DigitalVision/Getty Images
If you had the discretion to make the choice of the Guy on your own but had the option of accepting input, how would you handle it?
I'd pretend to listen in private, and then make my own choice. "The people" clearly can't make choices for themselves.
I'd put together a panel to help me decide.
I'd find the people who agree with me and hole up with them to make a decision.
I'd make the decision without consulting anyone. Clearly, "the people" can't make choices for themselves.

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Woman using calculator
Virojt Changyencham/Moment/Getty Images
Upon what does your financial well-being hinge?
The ability of the nation to conduct international commerce!
My hourly wage, in an office job
I'm a freelancer, so it's a lot of things.
My pension
Woman Messaging Friends Using Smartphone
Tom Werner/DigitalVision Vectors/Getty Images
How long can you go before you have to check your phone?
I find myself checking my newsfeed every few minutes.
I go on the 'gram a few times a day, to catch up on the buzz.
I can go days without looking at it.
My phone? It's attached to the wall at home! Why would I look at it?
Vintage Family Photos on shelf
Jeffrey Coolidge/DigitalVision/Getty Images
When were "the good old days"?
The 1990s
The early 2000s
There is no such thing as "the good old days."
You, young people, don't know how good you have it! Still! When I think back to rationing, it was a simpler time in some ways, a better time ...

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Man looking at old pictures
luza studios/E+/Getty Images
What memorable Guy have you set alight in the past?
Tony Blair
Joey Barton
My boss
Osama Bin Laden
Close up of athlete stretching outdoors
Jalapeno/Cultura/Getty Images
Some people get up in arms about football. Leaving that aside, about which sport do you find yourself worked up?
Snooker
Racing Demon, of course!
Sport leaves me cold.
Cricket, which is in my opinion, the only sport.
Newspapers
benimage/E+/Getty Images
If there is one event you could make happen in the next year, what would it be?
We'd strike a deal with the EU like the one Norway has.
Television would give us a hero to champion civility.
I'd show all those bastards from school that I made it!
We'd go back to feudalism.

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Laptop computer with cable forming a globe
Atomic Imagery/DigitalVision/Getty Images
About which of the following issues of the day do you care most?
Climate change
Diversity
Bullying
The size of Mars bars, which just seem to be getting bigger with every passing year.
Guy Fawkes effigy
Wiki Commons by Andrew Dunn
Tell the truth. Do you want to make a Guy based on someone you know personally?
Certainly not!
I've considered it.
Yes, absolutely. It would be cathartic.
No, I think not. Besides, most of the people I know are already in the ground!
A Guy being burnt
Wiki Commons by Arthur Kerensa
If you had to satisfy your community with a Guy they would likely approve of, but you had to guess as to who that would be, which of these names would you pick?
Boris Johnson
Cheryl
The old man from the nearby retirement community who won't stop ranting about Cromwell
A certain little man from Germany, who was of some importance from 1933 to 1945

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