Image: The Movie DB
What is your highest level of education?
I'm a college graduate.
I've got some college experience.
I've graduated high school.
I dropped out of high school.
What kind of charity event would you hold at your place of employment?
A bake sale to raise funds for the school.
A wine-tasting for Homer to go to Alcoholics Anonymous.
A canned food drive for the homeless.
A book sale to raise enough money for Stan Lee to visit the comic book shop.
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If Marge Simpson asked to use your facility to host an event, what kind of event would it be?
A cupcake-baking class.
A wine-pairing class.
High tea for the Red Hat Mamas.
Selling her nude pin-up calendars in the adult section of your store.
If Homer Simpson asked to use your facility to host an event, what kind of event would it be?
Teaching students how to be a good mascot for sports teams.
A kegger.
I would turn Homer down, of course.
A Q & A session about his role as Poochie the dog.
If Lisa Simpson asked to use your facility to host an event, what kind of event would it be?
A Springfield Historical Society meeting.
Lisa is too young to come in here.
A jazz performance.
A group discussion about Wonder Woman comics.
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If Bart Simpson asked to use your facility to host an event, what kind of event would it be?
A mother/son talent show.
A birthday party.
He wouldn't be allowed into my restaurant.
A comic book trading party.
Which Simpson family member would you interact with the most?
I would interact with both of the Simpson children.
Homer Simpson.
Marge Simpson.
Bart Simpson.
Which of the citizens of Springfield would you want to see the least?
Superintendent Chalmers.
Barney Gumble.
Homer Simpson.
Martin Prince.
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Why did you decide to take a job at your place of employment?
I want to spread my knowledge to the masses.
I want to collect stories from the patrons.
I want to share my culinary expertise.
I want to get a discount on toys and comics.
What is one of the perks of working at your place of employment?
All the free orange drink I handle.
Free beer and wine.
Discounted food.
Free b-rated comics.
Springfield is starting to celebrate the holidays. How does your workplace decorate?
I have a ton of handmade crafts in the halls.
I hang a wreath on the door.
I have a beautifully decorated tree in the center of the room.
I put Santa hats on various busts and statues in the shop.
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What is your favorite book?
"I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban" by Christina Lamb and Malala Yousafzai.
"The Draco Tavern" by Larry Niven.
"Monday Mourning" by Kathy Reichs.
"The Art of Fielding" by Chad Harbach.
What kind of food can you find to snack on in your workplace?
There's a cafeteria and some vending machines.
A jar of pickled eggs and peanuts.
Various gourmet dishes prepared to order.
There isn't any food in my workplace.
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If you could go on a vacation, where would you go?
London, England.
Dublin, Ireland.
Paris, France.
Hollywood, California.
While on vacation, you pick up a souvenir for your coworkers. What kind of trinket do you pick up?
A history book from the town I'm visiting.
Shot glasses.
Spoons.
Magnets or postcards.
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What kind of pet do you have in your workplace?
A falcon.
An old dog.
Rats.
No animals are allowed in my workplace.
Which of Springfield's A-list celebrities has been seen at your establishment?
Sideshow Bob.
Who hasn't been here?
Kent Brockman.
Krusty the Clown.
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What is your least favorite activity at work?
Cleaning up vomit.
Giving drunks the heave-ho.
Cleaning the bathrooms.
Cleaning up the adult section.
What is a little-known secret about your workplace?
The cafeteria's food contains less-than-desirable ingredients.
There is no ladies' room.
There are no secrets.
There is a secret room where illegal film clips are stored.
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What do you hate about your boss?
They don't seem to know what they're doing.
They have anger management issues.
They are snobby.
They can be verbally abusive.
What is your favorite movie?
Dangerous Minds.
Road House.
Ratatouille.
Any of the Marvel superhero movies.
When you walk into your workplace, what stench tends to linger in your nostrils?
Burnt coffee.
Alcohol.
Fish and other food.
Body odor.
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Something frustrates you at work. What do you do to calm down?
I go into the lounge.
I have a drink.
I take a break.
I go hit the punching bag in the back room.
You are finally home from work. What is the first thing you do?
I make myself some dinner.
I soak my feet.
I take a nice hot shower.
I read.
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